In which it appears that the sting of slander is not always in the head.
Mr. Prigg lost no time in addressing a letter to the ill-advised Josiah Snooks with the familiar and affectionate commencement of “Dear Sir,’” asking for compensation for the “gross outrage” he had committed upon “his client;” and an apology to be printed in such papers as he, the client, should select.
The “Dear Sir” replied, not in writing, for he was too artful for that, but by returning, as became his vulgar nature, Mr. Prigg’s letter in a very torn and disgusting condition.
To a gentleman of cultivated mind and sensitive nature, this was intolerable; and Mr. Prigg knew that even the golden bridge of compromise was now destroyed. He no longer felt as a mere lawyer, anxious in the interests of his client, which was a sufficient number of horse-power for anything, but like an outraged and insulted gentleman, which was more after the force of hydraulic pressure than any calculable amount of horse-power. It was clear to his upright and sensitive mind that Snooks was a low creature. Consequently all professional courtesies were at an end: the writ was issued and duly served upon the uncompromising Snooks. Now a writ is not a matter to grin at and to treat with
contempt or levity. Mr. Snooks could not return that document to Mr. Prigg, so he had to consider. And first he consulted his wife: this consultation led to a domestic brawl and then to his kicking one of his horses in the stomach. Then he threw a shovel at his dog, and next the thought occurred to him that he had better go and see Mr. Locust. This gentleman was a solicitor who practised at petty sessions. He did not practise much, but that was, perhaps, his misfortune rather than his fault. He was a small, fiery haired man, with a close cut tuft of beard; small eyes, and a pimply nose, which showed an ostentatious disdain for everything beneath it.
Mr. Locust was not at home, but would return about nine. At nine, therefore, the impatient Snooks appeared.
“Yes,” said Mr. Locust, as he looked at the writ, “I see this writ is issued by Mr. Prigg.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Did he not write to you before issuing it?—dear me, this is very sharp practice—very sharp practice: the sharpest thing I ever heard of in all my life.”
“Wull, he did write, but I giv un as good as he sent.”