“I wool, sir,” said Snooks; and thus his interview with his Solicitor terminated.
Now the result of the enquiries as to the domestic happiness of Bumpkin was this; first, the question floated about in a vague sort of form, “Does Bumpkin beat his wife?” then it grew into “Have you heard that Bumpkin beats his wife?” and lastly, it was affirmed that Bumpkin “really did beat his wife.” And the scandal spread so rapidly that it soon reached the ears of plaintiff himself, who would have treated it with the contempt it deserved, knowing the quarter whence it came, but that it was so gross a calumny that he determined to give the lying Snooks no quarter, and to press his action with all the energy at his command.
After this there could be no compromise.
“I wish,” said Snooks to himself, as he smoked his pipe that evening, “I could a worked one o’ them there innerenders in my trade—I could a made summut on him.”
CHAPTER VI.
Showing how the greatest wisdom of Parliament may be thrown away on ungrateful people.
The first skirmish between the two doughty champions of the hostile forces took place over the misdated writ. Judgment was signed for want of appearance; and then came a summons to set it aside. The Judge set it aside, and the Divisional Court set aside the Judge, and the Court of Appeal set aside the Divisional Court upon the terms of the defendant paying the costs, and the writ being amended, &c. &c. And I saw that when the Judge in Chambers had hesitatingly and “not without grave doubt” set aside the judgment, Mr. Prigg said to Mr. Locust, “What a very nice point!” And Mr. Locust replied:
“A very nice point, indeed! Of course you’ll appeal?” And Mr. Quibbler, Mr. Locust’s pleader, said, “A very neat point!”
“Oh dear, yes,” answered Mr. Prigg.
And then Mr. Prigg’s clerk said to Mr. Locust’s clerk—“What a very nice point!” And Mr. Locust’s clerk rejoined that it was indeed a very nice point! And then Mr. Locust’s boy in the office said to Mr. Prigg’s boy in the office, “What a very nice point!” And Mr. Prigg’s boy, a pale tall lad of about five feet six, and of remarkably quiet demeanour, replied—