Hence I may say that I do live by wit,
For I’ve got money, and a Wench with it.
Grammercy Wit, help and assist me still,
He ne’re can want that hath but Wit at will.
This Souldier was a Gentleman of a good house, though fallen to decay, whose education might have renderd him capable of considerable employments, had not his Heroick inclination to the Wars taken his thoughts clearly off from every thing else. I appointed a day for this man of war, to attend me some few miles into the Countrey, having got leave of his Captain we went together, in the mean time my Hostess was spinning of Hemp, and by return had finisht a Rope for her self and Husband: and thus it was.
A single Gentleman came as a Traveller to lodge in her Inn, having set up his Horse, and his Portmantua carried to his Chamber, he knocks for his Landlady, who coming up to him he acquaints her that he thought he should make a stay for two or three days, and therefore delivers into her hands a bag of one hundred pounds, desiring her to lay it up safe for him, she took the Bag and promised to keep it safe, and so she did from him: The Devil was one of her Privy Councel who advised her to perswade her Husband to murder the Gentleman for his money, which thus they cunningly effected as they thought, but he that did set them at work will pay them their wages.
At midnight she and her Husband entred the Gentlemans Chamber through a private door which was hid behind the hangings, a Sally-port for a thousand Rogueries they committed; mine Host with a Pillow he had brought with him, and the assistance of his wife, smothered the Gentleman as he lay in his bed, having so done, and putting on his Cloathes, they laid him down into the Stable, and there with a Rope ty’d to a beam, they hung him up, and so went to Bed; In the morning the Hostler going into the Stable found a Gentleman there hanging, upon sight whereof he ran into the house with an Outcry, which quickly reacht the ears of the Neighbourhood, so that in an instant the house was filled with people, every one giving his Verdict as his imagination prompted him; the general Vogue was that for some discontent he had thus desperately made away with himself. This old Beldam had the impudence to come into the Throng of the people, and there declare her Hypocritical sorrow for the death of her Guest, protesting that she would have given an hundred pounds with all her heart, that no such thing had hapned in her house. I took notice, said the Host, of his extraordinary melancholy last night, and reproving him for his unsociableness, he clapt his hand upon his breast, and with erected eyes to heaven, he groaned so loud and long that I thought it would have been his last. This prodigious lye would have wrought wonderfully upon the belief of the People, being a strong Circumstance of his despair or great discontent, had not this unlucky boy which I told you of before, cryed out, true good people, I heard him groan too, but it was when my Master and Mistress were hanging him up in the Stable, what they had been doing with him before I know not, but I saw them as I lay under the manger bring in his body, which seem’d to me as dead, and had they seen me, I believe I had not been now living; my Mistress had the chiefest hand in this work as I judge, for she got up into the Rack, and stradling the beam tyed the Rope, then did my Master raise the body in his Arms for her to put the noose about his neck; this is a truth said he, for which I will rather dy then deny.
His Master hearing this, and being conscious to himself that this was no ly which the boy said, betook himself to his heels, whilst his wife with a brazen countenance was justifying her innocence. The people seeing the flight of one, and the matchless impudence of the other, concluded them guilty; and laying hands on her first, and hold of him after, they secured them with the boy till the Constable was fetched, who came immediately and carried them before a Justice, where being examined they stood out stiffly in their own vindication, maugre the boys peremptory and undaunted accusation; In fine their guilty consciences would not let them longer persist in their justification, but confest the Fact that it was an hundred pounds which was committed to their charge by the Gentleman, that first tempted them to smother him, the Devil helping them to way they thought undiscoverable. They were committed to a Goal, where they lay till Assizes; at which time they were both sentenced to dye.
Glad was I that it should come into my head to ramble into the Countrey at that nick of time, for my extraordinary familiarity with them might have raised a suspition to the endangering of my person, besides the boy which accused them had a spight against me for causing him to be soundly bang’d sometimes for some Roguish trick he served me; one he play’d a little before this Murder was committed, and being basted for it, I heard him say mutteringly, he would find a time to be even, judge you whether he be not, however thus he was an unhappy Roguish boy, yet Heaven judged him a fit Instrument to discover a deed so bloody and horribly wicked.
Coming to the place of Execution, I could not see in my Hosts face any considerable marks of remorse or penitency, only the fear of Death had screwed his face into a hundred ugly affrighting formes: She for her part ascended the Ladder after she had seen the death of her Husband, with magnanimity and Courage; having been in Prison according to report, the greatest Penitent that ever was known to go thence and suffer as a Malefactor, I say she standing undauntedly on the Ladder, spake to the People after this manner, which I here recount as carrying some very remarkable things in it.