Madam, put these Tricks and Gulleries upon others, and not upon me, who can see through all your disguises, what do you intend, or think to chowse me in this manner? How, my Love, replyed she, what do you say? Now you see I am utterly ruin’d, is this all the comfort you will give me? No, no, replied I, you must sing another song, or else i’le make you, because you saw I came hither with good Clothes, and my pockets cramm’d with Money and Jewels, you think to catch me with this trick, making me believe that you have been robb’d, but I swear to you, continued I, that you shall not carry it thus, and that I will go to the Magistrate and have you and your Family every one of you clapt up; and having thus said, I leapt out of the Bed; and naked as I was in my shirt, I went to the window and cryed out Thieves. This poor woman now more dead than alive, seeing that beside her great loss, she was likely to receive a great affront, leap’d also out of the Bed, and falling about my neck, with lifted up hands, and tears in her eyes, begg’d of me to have pity on her, and that now after she had lost all, I would not go to ruine her quite in her Reputation; I therefore seemed to be moved with her Prayers, but said to her, must I be forced to live here for want of Clothes to go out? No (replyed she) go to Bed again, and I will send to one of my friends to borrow a suit of Clothes for you, and thereupon she immediately sent away to a French-Knight who was one of her Gallants, to borrow one of his best Suits of Clothes, pretending that she had a fancy to disguise her self in mans apparel. The Messenger soon returning, and bringing a fair Suit of Clothes, and all other necessaries, I arose, dressed my self, and taking my leave of my Mistress, went to my friends, where upon examination of my Cabinet, I found that I had increas’d my stock to above twice as much treasure as I had spent upon her, and a good Suit of Clothes into the bargain: He having finished his Story (said Mistress Dorothy) I told him he was very hard hearted to use a poor Lady so, and one who had been so kind to him, and that although she had refused him admittance when all his Mony was spent, there is some reason for it, for it is possible said I, you would have brought her and your self into extream beggery; well, replyed he, I know you are not a competent Judge in this case, and therefore I was unwilling to acquaint you with any of these matters; but, continued he, I will if you please, proceed in the other story I promised you, and so conclude.
I desiring him so to do, he went on thus: I being in this manner, said he, revenged of one Mistress, did resolve to leave her off quite, lest she should in time pay me off in my own Coin, and did endeavour to get another, but could not meet with or find any to my mind; but I and one of those of my acquaintance who had assisted me in my late exploit, one day talking of our female friends, told me that indeed, although he had not gain’d so much by a Mistress at once as I had done by mine, yet he had such a Mistress as had bin not only pleasing, but very profitable to him, for said he, I can command fifty or a hundred Crowns at any time; I marry Sir, said I, that is a good Mistress indeed, and is more than ordinary; yes replyed he, she is no ordinary person. I hearing him say so, knew it was to no purpose to ask her Name and Quality, but did resolve so to watch him that I would find it out, I usually therefore kept him Company and like his shadow still attended him, but he being as cunning as I was crafty, so privately mannag’d his amours, that I could not possibly find him out, I therefore sometimes lay with him, and took the opportunity of searching his Pockets for Letters, but found none, so that I was very doubtful of attaining my Ends, which was to discover who this unknown invisible Lady was, I finding that my acquaintance was too close to get any thing out of, was resolved to take another course, and since I could not out-wit the Master, try if my Boy could out-wit his; I therefore instructed my Boy in what he was to do, and ordered him to get in with the other, and get out of him one time or other, whether he did not carry Letters to any Persons, and to whom. My Boy was not so long about his Discovery as I had been about mine, for in a short time he told me that the Boy was often employed to carry Letters to a Mercers Maid, who lived in the next street, and also to a Carrier who conveyed Letters to an Unkle; I now partly knowing the Who, was desirous of knowing the What, and therefore ordered my Boy by one means or other to get one of his Letters and bring it unto me. He so well discharged himself in this employ, that it was not long e’re he brought me one. I being very curious to know the Contents, soon opened it, for heating a Knife in the fire, I put it under the Seal, which melted the Wax in that place, and so it was open, wherein I found these expressions. Madam,
I am very sorry that I am so unfortunate, that in the term of fourteen days I have not had the happiness of waiting on you, sure the old man is grown jealous, or which is worse, you begin to slight me, or else some expedient might have been found to have deceived him: I shall say no more at present, referring the rest of my Complaints till I see you, which happy minute I beseech you hasten, or else you will very much afflict
Your constant Friend,
S. N.
When I had read the Letter, I was almost as much to seek as I was before, because it was directed to one who was a Servant to the Mercer, but upon second thoughts I concluded, that although it was directed to the Maid, yet it might be intended to the Mistress, as indeed it was; I having read the Letter, melted some wax and sealed it again, the impression of the old Seal remaining as fair as formerly. My Boy who brought it me, asked if he should carry it again; I first, before I answered him, enquired of him how he came by it? he told me thus, that the other boy told him he had Letters to carry for his Master; and therefore, said he if you will go to the River and wash, I have, said he a good excuse; I (said my boy) told him that I would go with him if he would go strait, then to the River; he replyed, he was commanded to carry the Letter first, but I perswaded him to go first to the River, to the end that I might serve you in what you commanded, and therefore being come to the water, I did not make so much hast as he, but let him go to in, so soon as he was in the water, I searching his pockets, and finding this Letter came with all speed and told the other boys that were there, that I would go in at a place a little further, and swim down to them; and so, Sir, said he to me, I made all possible haste, and have here brought the Letter; I having heard his Tale, commanded him to run with all expedition, and put the Letter into the boyes pocket, he did so, and was not at all discovered, or suspected. I having thus gained some knowledge in my friends amours and being desirous to discover more, walked out to the Street where the Mercer dwelt, where I saw both man and wife in the Shop, there was much disparity in their years, for he seemed to be seventy, and she not above twenty four, I presently guessed that this must be she, and therefore pretending to buy, I went into the Shop, where I was shewed several Stuffs by her, he sitting at the further end of the shop coughing by himself; she had such a winning way in perswading me to the goodness and cheapness of the Stuff, that although I had no intention to buy, yet I laid out some money with her, she was perfectly handsome, and it had been great pity if she had onely been tyed to that old Carcass, but I knew that she had a friend who could do her business for her, and all that I then wished, was that I might be in his place, and take his turn; and this I was resolved to do, or stretch my wit on the tenters of invention.
The next day my Boy brought me another Letter, which was from my Companions Unkle, and I having opened that as I had done the former, found that his Unkle was sick, but however intended to be in Paris in few days, and then he would supply him with the money he desired; I closed the Letter again, and the boy conveyed it to the place where he had it, viz. the other boys pocket, who gave it to his Master two hours after when he returned home, being for the present gone out; by this Letter I understood that he had his maintenance from his Unkle, and that he had lately written for some, and that this was the answer: I took exact notice[notice] of his Unkles name, and writ it down in my Table book; I being desirous to discover from himself what I partly knew already, to that end I walked out with him, and engaged him to go into that Street where the Mercer dwelt, but although we did so, and I then curiously observed him, yet he did not so much as cast an eye into the Shop, although the Woman and her Husband were both there, but I remember turning down by that Shop into a blind Lane, he looked towards a back-door, which I then perceived was belonging to that house, and which I guessed might be the way whereby he went to his Mistress.
I having made all these inspections into the matter in hand, was resolved to make some further use of my experience. When about ten days after my boy came sweating to me, and told me that he had gotten another Letter, which the other boy received in his Masters absence, who would not be back in two hours, but then he must deliver it to him; who brought it? said I, a Porter: said the Boy; I hearing this had a mind to have delivered it back again without opening, because I did suppose it came only from his Unkle, or some other Friend, about some ordinary affairs, not judging that a Letter of Love would be sent by an ordinary Porter; I was in this determination, which had I followed I should have thought my self very unfortunate, but a curiosity possessing me, I resolved to see the Contents, wherefore using my former way of heating my Knife, I opened the Letter and therein found these Lines:
My dear Friend,
I hope at your last visit I gave you satisfaction in every thing, especially why I had not seen you for fourteen days before, I must confess it was a long time of absence and you may assure your self that I thought it so as well as you, I also hope that you have no suspition of my constancy, and that you may assure your self of my love to you, I have provided the hundred Crowns you desired, if you come on Thursday night about eleven of the Clock to our Back door, our trusty Servant will let you in, and conduct you to a Chamber, where I will attend you, but I must engage you not to speak to me, for I am in great fear of your being over-heard, by my Husbands Kinswoman, who lies the next wall to me, and is very curious over me; follow these directions and you shall engage,