Now was he forced to look out again, but it was not long before he was informed of a Maid that was very well to pass in the world, somewhat ancient, and had she not had some few natural deformities, she had never lived a Maid so long, for she was long-nos’d, thin lipt, beetle-brow’d, short neckt, bunch-backt, and hopper-arst. This dismaid not him, knowing she had Mony to make all good; and so with a little Court-ship; (she being already ravisht to think, (her hopes of marrying having long since taken leave of her,) she should be joyned to a young man, and a handsome man to;) I say the Marriage was quickly hudled up: I did not hear they had many quarrels the first week; but not many weeks past over their heads, before his extravagancy, and her covetousness, could not agree. Besides, she grew intolerable jealous, (as most do who are conscious of their own imperfections,) and shewed so many of her damned qualities, that he lived a hellish life with her; had he not been a fool, he might have known before what she was.
She had better been quiet, for the more unquietly he lived at home, the more jocundly he spent abroad; till in fine he spent all, so that he resolved to leave her, and return to his former Mistress, who is now aboard, I mean
The New-Exchange-Girl.
She was born in Lancashire, and coming up to London with the Carrier to get a Service, it was ten to one she had not been pickt up by some Bawd, they continually laying wait at all the Inns in the Town, for the coming up of handsome Girles. It was the hap of a Semstress in the New-Exchange to meet with her: and seeing her to have a well featured, and well coloured Countenance, took so great a liking to her, that she took her home with her. She knew well enough what she did, being not ignorant, that a handsome young Girl in a Shop, will attract as many Beauty hunters to her shop, as sweet things will draw Flies to a Confectioners Stall. She had not lived long with her Mistress, but as she was envyed by her Neighbouring Apprentices, so she was admired and courted by many of the Gallants of that end of the Town. Her Mistress, who found the sweetness of the incomes of her new-come Servant gave her much more liberty, and countenance, than she had done any before, cloathing her in as good a habit, as might become such an excellent Face, and the Esteem that Gentlemen of Quality had for it.
She had by this time purged her self of the barbarisms and impurities of the English tongue, by the daily converse she had with the Ladies, and Gallants of the Court, and had learnt decorums in Carriage, as well as elegancies in Language. Her Mistress was much too blame in suffering her to wait upon Gentlemen at their Chambers, with Shirts, Sleeves, Cravats, &c. though it is customary, yet dangerous to those that would preserve their Honour. By which means she had so many temptations offered to her, that the like would have taken in the Maiden Fortress of a Vestal Votaress. They courted her with those Golden-Showers, which infallibly conquer, (having Jove for their President) no wonder then if she yielded to her overcomers.
This still brought in more Grists to her Mistresses’s Mill who gave her good Council to have a care of the Temptations of the Flesh; but she could discern by her Eyes her advice came too late: and knowing that Trade would not last long, gave her in a manner her own freedom, asking her leave, when she went abroad; but yet her Mistress was not such a Fool, but she knew well enough to whom she granted liberty to go abroad with her Servant; good Customers you may be sure. There was not a day hardly past, but she was Coacht; but at length she hackney’d it so long, that she got an ambling Nagg. Being recovered, she scorn’d to be dismaid for one hard bargain, but ventured at it again, and again; and now she was grown to that pass, she cared not, but cryed, Clap that Clap can, bearing in among them, firing Gun for Gun.