This is that Hell-hound for to sum up all,
Who is both Monster, Devil, and Canniball.
In this stinking place I stayed so long till I was almost starved, yet though I had nothing to feed on, I had daily a thousand which fed on me. The Daughter of my merciless Creditor hearing the miserableness of my condition gave me a visit, and supplyed me with some Money for the present, and repeating her visits, pity did at last turn into affection; this Love soon seeded into Matrimony; for she was her Mothers Darling, and could perswade her to anything, and so it proved, for she so prevailed, that I was discharged of my Debt, Fees paid, new Cloaths bought, and we incontinently marryed. I knew her to be a Whore, but necessity forced me to do what I did, or I must have perisht.
My Wife on the Bridal night expected no new thing from me, but a new fashioned duty; for she told me, if I expected to command, I was grosly mistaken; that she raised me not out of that Tomb I must have lain buryed in to my lives end, for that purpose, she knew how to rule her own affairs without my assistance, however she could not but acknowledge that man was a necessary implement in a Family, if it were but to cloak his Wives imperfections; To be short, Sir, I was only a Titular master, but a real Pimp and Cuckold; I bore all with a world of patience, still waiting an opportunity to get what I could, and march off: which fell out as happily as I could wish; for the House was noted to be a place of debauchery, and whilst my mother in Law was condemned for a damn’d Bawd, and my Wife for an errant piece of impudence[impudence], I was pityed by all as one drawn in and undone by them both.
Officers in fine seised them; and carried them to Bridewel, being both safe from interrupting my fixed resolution, I ransackt the house, taking what Moneys I found, and selling what would yield me any, I betook my self to this place, the remoteness whereof from my former habitation affording me a very convenient refuge. Whilst I have been in these parts I have not expended my time idly; for in Gaol and elsewhere I have learned most knacks in playing I have ever heard of, and have practiced them in many places very advantagiously, for I was a while of a Gang that stroled all the Countrey over, to all the great Fairs in England, resorting thither as constantly, as such Tradesmen who make it their business to observe them, exercising their cheating faculties on all they can pick up fit for their company: the reason why they go three or four in Company, is, that if any contest in playing should arise, or any opposition should be made, they may be the better able to defend their Roguery. Besides, if they should miss of a prize, and be smoakt as Gamesters, they are then strong enough for mischiefs of another nature, as Padding, Ken-milling, &c. and indeed let me tell you, there is no profest Villain which hath not a very great insight in Gaming, and know not only what advantages naturally accrue from every Game, but know how to make them when occasion shall require.
Since my coming hither I have very illy managed my successes; for I have won too many times without the interposition of one single loss of my own, which hath raised in my Gamesters a suspition of me not to be taken off; by which means I have lost all future hopes of bubbling them any more; But since, Sir, you stand fair in their good opinion, if you please to let me share with you, I shall inform you not only with my Art, but also furnish you with Tools which shall effect our design and increase our store. But before I shall encourage you to learn that which I now propound for your profit, give me leave to acquaint you with the inconveniencies, dangers, and perplexities which attend Gaming, lest hereafter you condemn me for your rash learning that which you would have trampled under your feet, had you known the many dangerous concomitants which continually wait thereon.
To speak generally, Gaming is an enchanting Witchery begot betwixt a couple of Devils, Idleness and Avarice: it so infatuates man, that it renders him incapable of prosecuting[prosecuting] his more serious affairs, and makes him to quarrel with his condition though ever so good: if he wins, the success so elevates him, that his mad joys carry him to the height of all excesses; if he loses, his misfortune plunges him to the bottom of Despair. Oh how I have seen a man cast up his eyes, as if he intended to call Heaven to account for its injustice, in not giving him that Cast he so much desires. Nay, I heard one of no small note in an ordinary publickly invoke the Devil, (upon his throwing at all, that is, all the men lies on the Table) that he would turn up Five, which was his Chance, and he should have his Soul for the next throw, an expression enough to make the hair of the vilest reprobate to stand on end.
It was said of one, that nec bonam, nec malam fortunam ferre potest, that both in good and bad fortune he was ever restles. Marcellus could neither be quiet as Conquerour, nor overcome. Thus such is the damn’d itch of Play, Gamesters are never satisfyed winning or loosing, if they win, they hope to increase their store[store], if they loose their Money they hope to recover it again.
The question was wittily propounded by one, whether Men in a Ship at Sea were to be accounted inter mortuos, vel vivos, among the living, or the dead, because there were but few Inches between them and drowning. The Quære is not improper to be made of great Gamesters, though their Estates be never so considerable, whether they are to be esteemed Divites vel Pauperis, poor or rich, since there are but a few Casts at Dice betwixt a person of Fortune, (in that circumstance) and a Begger.