I saw a couple of blades (Gentilely garb’d) enter one evening the Ordinary; they were lookers on a while, at length there being a vacant Room, one of them pulls the chair and sits down, as the box came still round he passed it, doing it so often said one angerly, if you will not throw sir what sit you there for? hereupon he snatcht up the box, saying, set me what you will Sir I will throw at it, the other hearing him say so, did set him two Guinneys, which he nickt, the Gentleman being vext did set him four more, with a round parcel of Silver, which he won also. Now did the whole Table concern themselves buttering him, that is, doubling or trebbling what they did set before, yet could not turn his hand, which was so successful that he held in eleven mains together, and just as he had almost broke the Table he chanc’t to throw out, having got his hat full of Money he arose from the Table and went to the fire with his Comrade, who asked him how he durst be so impudently bold to adventure after that manner knowing he had not a Cross about him to bless himself with all; how is that said one of the loosers who overheard what was said, had you no Money when you went to play, it matters not replied the winner I have enough now, had I lost having not wherewithal to pay you, why then ye must have been content to kick me so long till ye should say yourselves ye were satisfied; besides Sir I am a Souldier, and have past through many a brunt, venturing my life hard for eight pence a day, and do you think now I would not hazard a kicking or a pumping for so many fair pounds, all that were there concerned smiled at his confidence, but he laught heartily at their folly and his own good fortune. Well may he laugh that wins.
Did you but see what passions and how divers effects do vary men into several postures, you would absolutely conclude the place to be Bedlam instead of an Ordinary; you may observe one loosing to gnaw the box in pieces, or take the sawcer of Dice and throw it over his head, whilst the winning caster smiles and is merry as a Bee, another you may see who hath lost all his Money, standing like Pontius Pilate in the old Primmer, or like some antick figure in a suit of hangings as motion less and almost as liveless.
A Gentleman I took notice of one day, who loosing (what moneys he had about him) sate very pensively, in steps a young blade in this interval and briskly took up the box, but it came not to his hands above thrice, before he had lost all he had brought in with him, which so inraged the Noddy that he behaved himself like a meer frantick Fellow, swearing Damme was not I a villain in less than an hour to loose four pounds, this melancholly person hearing him swear and fret for a sum so inconsiderable to what he had lost, Damm you (said he) Damme that have lost fourscore pounds in half an hour, it seems the greater looser thought it a piece of injustice the lesser should be damn’d before him. Frequent are the quarrels in this place occasioned by the heat of Wine before they came in or by loss made chollerick afterwards; Swords commonly drawn, or boxes and Candlesticks thrown at one anothers heads; sometimes the Rooks will raise a seeming feud (especially when their stocks are low) when they see a Table covered with money, which may give them an occasion to scramble; such are the usual garboyls in this place that they form a perfect type of Hell.
I cannot forbear smiling when I think of a certain passage one time at an Ordinary. A Gentleman[Gentleman] who was well stored with Gold played high, and in a little time had not one penny left he first splits the Box, & then Box the Box-keeper, having so done, takes off his own hat from his head which was black, dame, said he, who dares say this hat is not white, he is a son of a whor that will not say so, the standers by seeing his loss had made him mad, replyed not a word; he perceiving on the other side that none would quarrel with him, seats himself, and fell fast asleep; another Gentleman who had lost as much or more than the former came to him who slept, and awakeing him, what is that you said Sir, is your black hat white, it’s a damn’d lye, I say it’s blew, deny it if you dare. The Gentleman was well pleased to see one madder then himself, and therefore without passion desired him to go and sleep as he had done, and on his awaking they should not differ about the colour, into what frenzies do these damn’d Dice put men into?
When late at night and the Company grows thin and your eyes dim with watching, then is the time for false Dice to be put on the ignorant, then also is there a security in, Palming, Topping, Slurring, &c.
There are a certain sort of gentle and subtle Rooks whose outside speaks as much a Gentleman as most of the first magnitude. This Cunningham seldom plays in an Ordinary, yet will sit there a whole evening to the intent he may observe who winns, if considerable, and the winner seem Plyable, generous, and Bubbable, he will some way or other insinuate into his acquaintance by applauding his happy hand, congratulating his success &c. and then familiarly, yet civily prompt him to a glass of Wine that they may drink to the continuance of that good fortune.
Having gotten him to the Tavern he is sure to wheadle him into Play, and by hook or by crook (as we use to say) he is sure to winn some if not all his money; and that he may not be suspected for not playing squarely he will (if he be sure of his bubble) loose considerably sometimes, but in the long run he is sure to recover it again. I was several times so served but they could do no good upon me; yet notwithstanding that by my frequent practice I had gain’d a great deal of skill and crafty knowledge in the Dice, I lost, spent, and consumed all my moneys, and therefore I shall advise all to detest this abominable kind of life; if the most certain loss of your money will do it: I do undertake to demonstrate that any one with constant play upon the square shall be looser at the years end. I have heard it very confidently aver’d by an eye witness that three Gentlemen sate down at twelve penny Inn and Inn; each of them drew three pound a piece in two houres time, the box had four pounds of the money.
And that I may further perswade all men from gaming, consider how few there are if any who have gotten an Estate by play, but how many thousand antient and worthy families have been ruined and destroyed thereby. It is confest there is no constant gamester but at one time or other hath a considerable run of winning; but such is the infatuation of play, that I could never hear of any that could give over when they were well. I have known those have gotten many hundreds of pounds, and have rested a while with an intention never to play more; but by over perswasion, having broke bulk, as they term it, were in again for all and lost it.
Besides if a man hath a good parcel of money ’tis extreme folly to play whether himself or another shall be possessor thereof; if his stock be small it is downright madness to hazard that the loss whereof shall reduce a man to beggery. Moreover if you were but sensible of the anguish that is upon that mans spirit the next morning, having slept upon the loss of his money now irrecoverable, it would deter any one from ever medling with the cursed cause of so much vexation and trouble; what I now say is the product of wofull experience.
————Experto credo Roberto.