6. The last of this Ragged Regiment are called Bawdy Baskets, which are women that walk with Baskets or Cap-cases on their arms, wherein they have pinns, points, needles, and such like things to sell, going thus from house to house, to sell their ware; buy Cunny-skins, and steal what they can lay their hands on, driving three trades at once. They are very fair spoken, and will seldome swear whilest they are selling their wares, but will lie with any man that hath a minde to them. The Upright-men and these are in perfect league and amity one with another.
Thus have I briefly dissected to you this knot of Vipers, who may very fitly be termed the Devils black Guard. Whose whole life consisteth of a continued act of all impiety, no sin within their verge but is frequently committed amongst them, especially that sin of leachery; to which end you shall find sometimes together in a Barn forty of these Uprightmen, Rufflers, Clapperdugeons, &c. ingendring Beggars with their Morts. Adultery they boast of, Incest they laugh at, Sodomy they Jest at, being all of the Family of Love or Lust rather, rope ripe, Nuts for the Devils cracking, and fit fuel for firing for his Kitchen. But I have dwelt too long upon this filthy subject, I shall only give you a brief Character of a Canting Rogue, and so return to the progress of my own life.
He should seem by his rambling minde to be begot by some Intelligencer under a hedge, for he is wholly addicted to travel, and hath one especial priviledge above most Travellers, that he is never out of the way. He is not troubled with making of Joyntures; he can divorce himself without the Fee of a Proctor, nor fears he the cruelty of Overseers of his Will; for there is small danger of his Children being cheated of their Estates, by which means he makes not work for the Lawyers after his decease. He leaves his Children all the world to Cant in, and all the people to be their fathers to provide for them. His language is always one and the same; the Northern speech differs from the South, Welsh from the Cornish, but Canting is general, nor ever could be altered by Conquest of the Saxon, Dane, or Norman. He will not beg out of the limit prescribed him by the Upright-man, though he starve; nor falsifie his oath, if he swear by his Solomon (which is the Mass) though you hang him; and to show himself a true subject of their Common-wealth, he pays his custom as truly to his Grand Rogue, as tribute is paid to the Great Turk.
The Spring is as welcome to him, as a warm Bed to a weary Traveller, for then begins his progress after a hard Winter; and the Sun which breeds Agues in others, he adores it like the Indian. Ostlers cannot endure him, for he is of the Infantry, and serves best on foot; and if through sickness at any time he ride, his stage is but to the next Town, and that in a Dung-cart. He offends not the Statute against the excess of Apparel; the fuller of Rags, the more fashionable for his Calling; and to go naked, he accounts but a voluntary pennance. Forty of them will lye in a Barn together, yet are never sued upon the Statute of In-mates. He shifts Lodgings oftner than men shift their shirts, and hath more change of Morts and Doxies, than he hath of Lodgings. If he were learned, no man could make a better Description of England, for he hath surveyed it more exactly than the best Cosmographer whatsoever, having travell’d it over and over. Lastly, he can brag of this, that repairing of houses will never undo him; and that though he eats and drinks every day, yet he shall not die one penny in debt either to the Brewer, or to the Butcher.
CHAP. XVI.
In prosecution of his begging, he steals a Hen, is taken in the manner, and whipped, and imprisoned in the Cage; from whence he escapes, and assists in the robbing of a House, where he gets a good Booty and escapes, but his Companions are caught; one hanged, and two transported: He hearing this, makes haste to London.
It was then the Spring of the year when I took this laze trade of life upon me; the harmony of the Birds singing, and the variety of the Flowers which beautified the verdant Fields, made me the more willing to embrace this sordid course, not thinking of a winter that would strike dumb those winged Choristers, and invest the Earth with a robe of Snow, in stead of all her painted Bravery. Custom had soon habituated me to a liking of lodging in straw, attracted the more by my amorous Bed-fellow, and so long as I had my fill of ease, I could well be contented to fast from Dainties. But for my life I could not bring my tongue to the right tone of Begging, although I were habited fit for the purpose, with a dirty Night-cap loathsome to behold, my face all smearen, my cloths set full with patches upon the whole cloath, a red clout upon my leg, and supporting my body with a staff as if I had been a meer criple. Many a mile we rambled, yet keeping still in our own station, for fear of the Upright-man: but my counterfeit plea for begging was at last discovered, and to all my dainties I had whipping chear added; for going one day not far off from a Farm house, the stragling Hens invited me to have a throw at them with my staff, and having struck one of them, I had forgotten my lameness, but very nimbly ran and took her up, putting her under my patcht Coat, where I had a bag sewed in that was a receptacle for all stollen goods. It chanced that the Farmer himself was then on the other side of the hedge, who undiscover’d by me, saw my activity in the stealing of his Hen, and was resolved, though I put it up, that he would not. But I dreading nothing, thinking my self unseen, went directly to the House, and as soon as I came into the yard fell to my old trade, leaning on my staff, and drawing my leg after me, as if scarce able to stand, much less to run. Having gotten to the door, I began to set up my tone with a Good tender hearted people be pleased to bestow your charity upon a poor miserable wretch that is both lame and hungry; one penny of silver to buy him salve for his sore leg, or one morsel of victuals to put into his belly that hath had nothing come in it this couple of dayes. No sooner had I ended my Maunding, thinking to mump the Farmer out of some money, or at leastwise some bread to my Hen, but he having watch’d me now seiz’d hold of my arm, and told me, that that though it might be true that I had not lately eaten, yet he saw I was resolved to be better provided for the future, and so turning back my Coat discover’d my bag, where was not only the Hen, but some other provant, I had lately purchased. I finding my self caught, would gladly have given him the slip, but some of his servants, as well as himself stop’d me, without any more ado the Harman-beck was sent for, who being a neighbour was quickly come, and by this time I had a great train of Boys and Girls to attend me: I needed not much examination being thus taken in the manner, but however they were all desirous to see my sore leg; I was forced to let them do what they would with me, knowing there was no remedy but patience, and so I suffer’d them to unrowl and take off the Clouts and Rowlers that was upon it, when coming to the skin, that was as whole and as sound as a fish; but though my leg was well and whole, my heart was now almost broken with consideration of what they would do with me; some proposed one punishment, and some another, but at length to the Whipping-Post I was led, where my Doublet and shirt being stript off, my back was so long lac’d with a Cart-whip, that I Caperd and flownced like a Horse in a quagmire, and I was as fast too, being hand cuffd so that I could not stir. It was well it was the spring time, for I lost blood enough to purge away the gross humors without the help of a Surgeon, that office being supplyd by a Thrasher who took as much pains upon me as would have Thrash’d a bushel of Pease; but at length there was a Cessation, and a new parlee began, wherein it was propounded that further course should be taken with me, and considering that there was a kind of Felony committed upon the Hen; they advis’d and agreed to lead me to the next Justice of the peace to have his Judgement in the Case, though I thought it unreasonable to suffer punishment first, and then to be Judged; yet it was to no purpose to complain, and all I could say would not prevail with them to let me go, but they would conduct me to the Justice, so that I having put on my Cloaths my shirt stuck to my back and made me sensible that I had lost leather; but for all that on I must, and the Justice living a mile off, the Thrasher who had lash’d me, and two or three others made holliday to attend me: when we came before the Justice, he hearing that I had been punished already, was content at my Importunity to acquit me from any other, and only to make a Pass to send me home to London, being the place where I told them I was born: I not having power to contradict, was forced to consent to what was commanded, and that Constable attending me out of his liberties to another Constable, left me: this new Constable, who now had me in keeping, not being willing to go further with me; for that night put me up in the Cage, where I was lock’d up, but not so safely, but I made shift to break out, and travelling all night, by the next morning I was far enough off for them to o'retake me, for all that day I concealed my self in a wood, and when night came I proceeded on my Journey; but it so happened that on the second night of my travel, about midnight I was overtaken by three persons who demanded where I was going? I told them any whither: what was I? I replied a wretched person whom fortune had persecuted, and therefore I was indifferent whether I went, or what I did. Hearing me say so, they retired a little to consult about their affairs, and then one of them coming up to me, demanded several questions of me of my late course of life? To all their questions I returned them such answers as caused them to conclude me to be a Rambler, and therefore fit for their society, and therefore they asked me if I were willing to hazard my self in enterprizing somewhat, that though it might be something dangerous, yet it should be very profitable. To this I answered, that they should soon find my willingness expressed in the boldness of my actions, and if seconded or assisted by them, I should act anything they would direct and appoint.