CHAP. LIX.
He much condemns the follies of his past actions, and in token of his unfeigned repentance, gives some general instructions to his Country-men, first how to know Padders on the Road, by infallible signs; with other remarques worthy the observation of any Traveller, laid down in some consequent Chapters.
Being in this terrestrial Hell, (where darkness, horror and despair surrounded me) my conscience started out of her dead sleep, and presently demanded of me a severe account of what I had done. My guilt was such, I had not a word to speak for my self, but wished my production (as my actions were) inhumane. What did not then the apprehension of an approaching and unavoidable death, suggest to my thoughts! to have only dyed (though with the most exquisite, terrifying, and soul-excruciating tortures) was not a thing the spirit of man should shrink at; but the consideration of an eternal punishment hereafter, justly inflicted on such who have offended an infinite God, absolutely distracted me: So that methought I already heard the howls and hollow grones of damned Souls, which add to the weight of their everlasting misery. Having somewhat appeased my enraged conscience, by a faithful promise and constant resolution to lead a new life, if I should escape the danger of the Law, I determined with my self, to shew the first Fruits of my reformation, by publishing something to the world, that might serve as a guide for Travellers, how they might passe in safety on their way. To that purpose I acquainted my Keeper with my good intentions; but that being no particular profit to him, he valued not the publick, and therefore rejected my good motion, till I greas’d his fist, and then I had the accommodation of a Candle, Pen, Ink and Paper, &c. The uncertainty of their attire, various disguises, non-constancy of residence, and changeable names, makes me incapable to do what I would: Therefore I will do what I can (according to my small experience, occasioned by my no long continuance among them.) Riding on the Road (if you have company) it may be two or three shall overtake you, and seem to be much afraid of you: they will pretend to be even now set upon by half a dozen stout fellows, but that they did beat the Rogues, forcing them to fly for safety: and this fiction they use to seal with basket-hilt-oaths: thus by your answers they will find whether you dare fight; if not, they will wait an opportunity to act their roguery on you; which having done, as a reward for what unwillingly you have left them, they will pretend to give you a word shall protect you better than your sword, from any injury shall be done you upon the like account: but this is nothing else than a meer cheat, and no securing charm; for we valued not words, when our wants were in pursuit of Monies. Not but that we used some formal words among our selves, when ready to seize a prize; and observing other company, either before or behind, to desist a while, by which we knew what we had to do, and the ignorant Travellers suspected no wrong.
CHAP. LX.
What is to be taken heed unto, before the Traveller begin his Journey.
Most respected Country-men, and more especially you, who frequently pass the Road, the most part of my notorious wicked life having been consumed in all manner of cheats and debauchery, and that in part of late maintained by robbing: seeing now the wretchedness of that course of life, and being sensible of the injury I have done my Country, I looked upon my self as bound to satisfie the debt I owe to you, to the uttermost of my power; which reacheth to an act not more satisfactory, than good advice how to avoid those dangers which too many of late days have fallen into, since Dammee Plumes of Feathers came in fashion. First then, if you carry a charge about you, make it not known to any, and conceal the time of your departure in your own breast; for it is a custom no less common than indiscreet and foolish, among some sort of persons, to blaze abroad among their reputed friends, the time of their intended journey, and vaingloriously make them acquainted with what considerable summs they should carry with them; by which means the Son hath oftentimes betrayed the Father, and one friend another, by informing or complotting with some of the Padding society; the discoverer sharing (for giving notice of the prize) one quarter or more of the gain he betrays, when but for this foolish humour they had not been way-lay’d. Again, have a special care, both of the Hostler, Chamberlain and Host himself: the two first the Thief is sure to bribe; and the last, in expectation of a share with them (as it is so ordered) or in hopes that the major part of what they get shall be profusely spent in his house, gives them items where the booty lies. Especially be sure on the road to associate with none but such as you find inclined rather to leave your company then keep it; for they are very suspicious persons, and oftentimes prove dangerous, that press into your society, and are very inquisitive to know whither you intend, spinning out the time with many impertinent questions. But if you would know whether the strangers intentions be honestly inclined, take occasion to make some stay: observe you in the mean time their motion: for if they make an halt, or alight, so that you may overtake them, follow at a distance; but if their pace be so slow that you needs must overtake them, look about you, and provide for your safety; for there is no surer symptom of an Highway-man than such purposed delays. The other usual marks of such Moths be these; they commonly throw a great Leaguer-cloak over their shoulders, covering their faces, or else they have visibly disguised their faces in some manner or other. Now of late they find very useful a Vizard, in every respect, (but for the largeness) like the a-la-mode Vizard-masks so much worn by Gentlewomen, who endeavour to conceal the shame of their wanton actions by absconding their faces. If you meet with any who have none of these things, as soon as they come somewhat near you, fix your eye full in their face: if they turn their heads from you, keep your distance, and ride from them with what expedition you can; but being surprized by any you know, be very careful that you discover it not to them; for these Desperado’s never think themselves secure, till they have prevented your giving intelligence, by cutting asunder the thread of your life. Observe whether their beards and hair of their head agree in a colour, and are not counterfeit; and be sure to beware of him that rides in a Mountier-cap, and of such as whisper oft; or of any one single person that intrudes into your company; for that is one way they have to ensnare the Traveller: he will tell you a great many merry and facetious Stories, meerly to ingratiate himself with you; which having obtained, he shews himself more than ordinary civil, and so fearful of anything that may prejudice his new acquaintance, that he no sooner espies two riding toward them, but he apparently trembles, and will presently question his new friends, what charge they have about them: if little, the best way were to yield to these approaching persons, if Thieves, rather than hazard a life; but if it be any thing considerable, he will presently vow to be true to them, and rather than they should come to any danger or loss, he will fight with them as long as he hath breath. These so causlesly suspected, were perhaps down-right honest fellows: but before they have travelled five miles further, ’tis ten to one but they overtake two or three more, one it may be riding aside with twists of Hay instead of Boots, it may be with a Fork, Bill, or Goad in his hand, like a Country-Boor. It may be your newly-entertained treacherous Friend will tell you that he will make good sport with this Country-Bumpkin, and so to that purpose ask him some foolish impertinent question, which the other shall answer as ridiculously; so spinning out the time till a convenient place and a fit opportunity serve; then shall this pretended friend seize one of you himself, and my Hedge-creeper turn Hector, and lay hold on another: and now will it be in vain for you to strive, for nothing but money will ransome you out of their hands.
CHAP. LXI.
Instructions in what manner, at what time, and what Road is most safe to ride.
There are so many ways to rob the innocent, that it behoveth every man to be very circumspect, how, when, and where he rides. If you have a quantity of money about you, chuse rather to ride by night then day; for by this means you are freed from any Horseman or Cutter whatever. But this course cannot seal your protection from base sheep-stealing penny-Rogues, the baseness and lowness of whose spirits will stoop for a Noble, though they hang for their pains; therefore take heed of their long poles, and that they do not suddenly start out and lay hold on your bridle. As for the nobler sort of Rogues, this they believe as an undeniable Maxime, that none will ride by night that are worth the robbing. Besides, they are oblig’d to take their Inn betimes, lest through mistrust they should be apprehended: Moreover, they hardly dare adventure in the dark, because they cannot discern what dangerous defences the assailed have, as Pistols, or other private weapons in readiness, nor see their own advantages: and withall, it will be no difficult matter to convey in the obscurity of the night, what they have undiscovered, into some ditch. Chuse to travel in byroads, for it is a general rule with High-way-men to keep their station on the greatest Roads, that of the number that pass by, they may select such as they think will prove the richest booties. Here now as a Corollary, take notice of a foolish custom: Some when they ride by any place that commonly speaks danger, they will bustle up together side by side; which is the usual overthrow of such. Wherefore take my counsel here, when ere you ride, in fear especially, ride far asunder, at least a stones throw: by so doing none durst set upon you, fearing lest this stragling order give some leave to escape undoubtedly, and so raise the Country in their pursuit.