I went on a time to see a Prisoner in Ludgate, but thinking to come out again as easily as I went in, I found my self just as the Picture I have often seen upon the Exchange, wherein is represented a man plunging himself with much ease into the great end of the Horn, but with the greatest difficulty can hardly squeeze his Head through the other end. Hell Gates stand ever open to let all souls in, but none are suffer’d to go out. Here I waited two hours for the return of the Turn-key, fretting my self even to death for being detained from my urgent occasions. At length he came: I told him what an injury he did me: instead of excusing himself, he returned me very scurvy language, which provoked my passion so much, that though I said little, yet my invention was presently at work to be reveng’d. Not long after I got a poor fellow to be arrested for an inconsiderable debt, advising him to turn himself instantly over to Ludgate. In a short time the poorness of this mans condition was generally known, and he himself pretending he was almost starved, got liberty to put in what slender security he could procure for his true imprisonment, and so had leave to go abroad. In the mean time I had got a Bond of the Prisoner of fourscore pound for the payment of forty, and so went privately and enter’d an action of Debt. I told the Prisoner the next time he went out he should run away, which he did, neither was there any security to be found; then did I bring my action against the Keeper, with my Knights of the Post, and so recovered the money.
CHAP. XLI.
What a freak he play’d upon a Jeweller.
I was intimately acquainted with a Jeweller in Foster-Lane, whom I often helped to the sale of Rings and Jewels, so that my credit was very good with him. Being one time above in his work-room, I chanced to spy a very rich Jewel, whereupon I told him I could help him to the sale thereof; my Lady such a one having lately spoke to me about such a thing. He gladly delivered it to me at such a price to shew it her. But I only carried it to another to have one exactly made like it with counterfeit stones. Before I went, I askt him if the Lady dislike it, whether I might leave it with his Wife or Servant? I, I, (said he) to either will be sufficient. I was forced to watch one whole day to see when he went out; and being gone, presently went to the Shop, and enquired of his Wife for her Husband; she answered me, he was but just gone. Well, Madam (said I) you can do my business as well as he, ’tis only to deliver these stones into your custody; and so went off undiscovered. Not long after I met him in the street, carrying displeasure in his looks; Sir (said he) I thought a friend would not have serv’d me so; but I deny’d it stifly. Whereupon he was very angry, and told me he would sue me: I valu’d not his threats, and so left him; I had not gone many paces before I met with a friend, that complain’d to me he had lost a very valuable Locket of his Wives, it being stolen from her. Glad I was that this should fall out so pat to my purpose; I askt him to give me a description of it, which he did punctually. Now, said I, what will you give me, if I tell you where it is? Any thing in reason. Then go to such a Shop in Foster-Lane (the same Shop where I cheated the man of his Ring) and there ask peremptorily for it; I was there at such a time and saw it; and he would have had me help him to a Customer for it? I’ll stay at the Star-Tavern for you. Away he went and demanded his Locket: The Jeweller deny’d he had any such thing, (as well he might.) Upon this he returned to me, and (by this I had another with me) and told me what he said. Whereupon I advised him to have a Warrant for him to fetch him before a Justice of Peace, and that I and my friend (which saw as much as I) would swear it. The Goldsmith was instantly seiz’d on by a Constable, and assoon as he saw who they were that would swear against him, desired the Gentleman to drink a glass of wine, and then tender’d him satisfaction: But I had order’d the business that it would not be taken unless he would give us all three general releases. He knowing the danger that might ensue to life and estate if we persisted, consented to the proposal.
CHAP. XLII.
He puts a notable Cheat upon a Gentleman concerning his House.
Walking one time in the Fields with an Attendant or two, who would be constantly bare before me, if in company with any persons of quality, but otherwise, hail fellow well met; I was got as far as Hackney, ere I thought where I was; for my thoughts were busied about designs, and my wit was shaping them into a form; casting my eye on the one side of me, I saw the prettiest built and well scituated House that ever my eyes beheld. I presently had a covetous desire to be Master thereof: I was then, as Fortune would have it, in a very gentile Garb; I walkt but a little way further, and I soon found out a Plot to accomplish my desires. And thus it was: I returned and knockt at the Gate, and demanded of the Servant whether his Master was within? I understood he was, and thereupon desired to speak with him. The Gentleman came out to me himself, desiring me to walk in. After I had made a general Apology, I told him my businesse, which was only to request the favour of him, that I might have the priviledge to bring a Workman to Supervise his House, and to take the Dimensions thereof, because I was so well pleased with the Building, that I eagerly desired to have another built exactly after that pattern. The Gentleman could do no lesse than to grant me so small a civility. Coming home, I went to a Carpenter, telling him I was about buying an House in Hackney, and that I would have him accompany me to give me (in private) the estimate. Accordingly we went, and found the Gentleman at home, who entertained me kindly as a stranger. In the mean time the Carpenter took an exact account of the Butts and Bounds of the House on Paper; which was as much as I desired for that time.
Paying the Carpenter well, I dismist him, and by that Paper had a Lease drawn with a very great fine (mentioned to have been paid) at a small Rent; Witnesses thereunto I could not want. Shortly after I demanded Possession. The Gentleman thinking me out of my wits, only laught at me: I commenced my suit against him; and brought my own Creatures to swear the sealing and delivering of the Lease, the Carpenters evidence, with many other probable Circumstances to strengthen my cause; whereupon I had a Verdict: The Gentleman understanding what I was, thought it safer to compound with me, and lose something, rather than lose all.
CHAP. XLIII.
How he cheated a Scrivener under the pretence of bringing him good Security for an Hundred pound which he would borrow.