[THE TWINKLE IN THE FATHER'S EYES]
Mr. Merrett looked the man very straight in the face; as if he suspected him of an intention to be humorous.
'Not so much "your lordship" about it, if you please. Is it the old complaint? Try a bushel of pills before breakfast and a scuttleful at lunch. A young man with a pair of legs like yours ought to have more sense. He did really. For goodness gracious sake don't be a fool just because you look it. Try to behave as if you'd left your face at home. Did you hear me ask if the Marquis of Twickenham is at home, or are you deaf both back and front?'
The footman plainly did not know what to make of the position.
'Your lordship----'
Mr. Merrett sprang up the steps. 'Look here, you perambulating cauliflower, if you give me any more of "your lordship" I'll dot you upon the frontispiece. Are you the only fool about the place? Or isn't there any one who can give a civil answer to a civil question?'
Another footman advanced. Behind him the venerable Mr. Gayer. Both stared with unmistakable surprise at Mr. Merrett. He returned them stare for stare.
'Well? The charge for this entertainment is generally one shilling, but really good-looking men are admitted free. Do you both of you want a pass, upon your faces?'
He put his hand up to his mouth, and bawled:
'Is the Marquis of Twickenham at home? Sorry I didn't bring a foghorn out with me, but perhaps that's loud enough for somebody to hear.'