By Mr. WILBERFORCE.
On reading Mr. ROSE’s Pamphlet on the IRISH PROPOSITIONS.
Uncramp’d yourself by grammar’s rules,
You hate the jargon of the schools,
And think it most extremely silly;
But reading your unfetter’d prose,
I wish the too-licentious ROSE
Was temper’d by the chaster LILLY[1].
[1] A famous grammarian, well known for his excellent rules, and still more for the happy classical quotations he has furnished to Sir GEORGE HOWARD, and others of the more learned Ministerial speakers.
PROCLAMATION.
TO ALL TO WHOM THESE PRESENTS MAY COME.
Whereas it hath been made known to us, from divers good and respectable quarters, in several parts of the empire, that a practice of great and salutary consequences to the health, wealth, and good order of our subjects; to wit, that of TEA-DRINKING, has of late years been very much discontinued: AND WHEREAS it is a true and admitted principle in all free governments, that the efficient Minister is the best and only judge of what suits the constitution, pleases the appetite, or is adapted to the wants of the subject. NOW IT IS HEREBY ORDERED, and strictly ordained, by and with the advice of the PRIVY COUNCIL, that all his Majesty’s liege subjects, of all ranks, descriptions, or denominations whatever, be henceforward, and from the date hereof, required and enjoined, under the penalty of a premunire, to drink, swill, and make away with a certain quantity of the said nostrum and salutary decoction in the course of each natural day, in the order and proportion as directed and ascertained in the list or schedule herein after following, viz.
I. To every DUKE, MARQUIS, EARL, VISCOUNT, and BARON, within his Majesty’s kingdom of GREAT BRITAIN, one pound per day.—If GREEN be too strong for their nerves, they may use SOUCHONG.—The method of making it, that is to say, strong, weak, and so on, is left to the noble personages themselves.
II. To every IRISH ditto, two pound per ditto.—This will be no inconvenience, as smuggled claret will not be in future to be had.
III. DUCHESSES, DUCHESS DOWAGERS, COUNTESSES, and BARONESSES, one pound per ditto.—As this regulation is not intended to hurt his Majesty’s Customs, a mixture of LIQUEURS will be permitted as usual.