PITT.
Begin the strain—while in our easy chairs
We loll, forgetful of all public cares! 30
Begin the strain—nor shall I deem my time
Mispent, in hearing a debate in ryhme!
PRETTYMAN.
Father of lies! By whom in EDEN’s shade
Mankind’s first parents were to sin betray’d;
Lo! on this altar, which to thee I raise, 35
Twelve BIBLES, bound in red Morocco, blaze.
BANKS.
Blest powers of falsehood, at whose shrine I bend,
Still may success your votary’s lies attend!
What prouder victims can your altars boast,
Than honours stain’d, and fame for ever lost? 40
PRETTYMAN.
How smooth, persuasive, plausible, and glib,
From holy lips is dropp’d the specious fib!
Which whisper’d slily, in its dark career
Assails with art the unsuspecting ear.
BANKS.
How clear, convincing, eloquent, and bold, 45
The bare-fac’d lie, with manly courage told!
Which, spoke in public, falls with greater force,
And heard by hundreds, is believ’d of course.
PRETTYMAN.
Search through each office for the basest tool
Rear’d in JACK ROBINSONS’s abandon’d school; 50
ROSE, beyond all the sons of dulness, dull,
Whose legs are scarcely thicker than his scull;
Not ROSE, from all restraints of conscience free,
In double-dealing is a match for me.
BANKS.
Step from St. Stephen’s up to Leadenhall, 55
Where Europe’s crimes appear no crimes at all;
Not Major SCOTT, with bright pagodas paid,
That wholesale dealer in the lying trade;
Not he, howe’er important his design,
Can lie with impudence surpassing mine. 60
PRETTYMAN.
Sooner the ass in fields of air shall graze,
Or WARTON’s Odes with justice claims the bays;
Sooner shall mackrel on the plains disport,
Or MULGRAVE’s hearers think his speech too short;
Sooner shall sense escape the prattling lips 65
Of Captain CHARLES, or COL’NEL HENRY PHIPPS;
Sooner shall CAMPBELL mend his phrase uncouth,
Than Doctor PRETTYMAN shall speak the truth!
BANKS.
When FOX and SHERIDAN for fools shall pass,
And JEMMY LUTTRELL not be thought an ass; 70
When all their audience shall enraptur’d sit
With MAWBEY’s eloquence, and MARTIN’s wit;
When fiery KENYON shall with temper speak,
When modest blushes die DUNDAS’s cheek;
Then, only then, in PITT’s behalf will I 75
Refuse to pledge my honour to a lie.
PRETTYMAN.
While in suspence our Irish project hung,
A well-framed fiction from this fruitful tongue
Bade the vain terrors of the City cease,
And lull’d the Manufacturers to peace: 80
The tale was told with so demure an air,
Not weary Commerce could escape the snare.