Hoplit's pamphlet about the Carlsruhe Musical Festival you have probably received. At Christmas I shall send you the Kunstler chorus, which is being autographed in full score.
140.
DEAREST FRANZ,
Two words today in great haste. I am angry with myself for having burdened an overpatient friend like you with this Hartel affair. Pardon me. It is all over now, and (D.V.) you will hear nothing more about this Jewish business. I am, it is true, for the moment in an awkward position, but you must not mind that. Are you out of temper?
But you are composing. The Princess has written to me about it.
You must surprise me soon!
I spin myself in like a cocoon, but I also spin something out of myself. For five years I had written no music; now I am in Nibelheim. Mime made his complaint today. Unfortunately I was last month taken ill with a feverish cold, which disabled me for ten days; otherwise the sketch would have been ready this year. At times also my somewhat cloudy situation disturbs me; there is at present an ominous calm around me. But by the end of January I must be ready. Enough for today. I have many things to tell you, but my head is burning. There is something wrong with me; and sometimes, with lightning-like rapidity, the thought flashes through me that it would be better, after all, if I died. But that has nothing to do with my writing music. Adieu. Greet the Princess and the Child many times. Soon more from
Your
WAGNER RICHARDTOL
ZURICH, December 17th, 1853.
P.S.—You will have another letter very soon.