“You must!” she urged, clinging tighter to his arm. “You may fall. I am afraid! I cannot bear it! Do not go! Stay with me––say that you will stay with me––dearest!”
“Good God!” he cried, tearing himself away from her, “To let you say it––say it to me!” 359
“Dearest!” she repeated. “Dearest, do not go! There is no need! I cannot bear it! Do not go!”
“No need? My God! When I could fling myself over, if it were not for him! To have let you say it––to me––to a liar! thief! murderer!”
“Dearest!” she whispered. “Hush! You are delirious––you do not know––”
“It is you who do not know!” he cried. “But you shall––everything––all my cowardly baseness!” The confession burst from him in a torrent of self-denunciation––“That trip to town, when we went to fetch them, I lied to you about those bridge plans. It was not true that I found them. He handed them to me. He took no receipt. I looked at them and saw how wonderful they were. I stole them. My father had threatened to cast me off if I did not do something worth while. I was desperate. So I stole your brother’s plans. I copied them––”
“You know about Tom!” she interrupted. “But of course. You saw me tell him, there at the ravine.”
“I saw you put your arms about his neck and kiss him; but I did not hear––I did not see the truth. I believed––that is the worst of it all––I believed it possible that you––you––!... That devil Gowan.... But that is no excuse. Had I not already doubted you.... And I went down––down into hell, with only one purpose––to make certain that he never should come up again!” 360
“Dear Christ!” whispered the girl––“Dear Christ! He has gone mad!”
“No, Isobel,” he said, his voice slow and dead with the calm of utter despair, “I am not mad. I have never been mad except for a little while after you put your arms about his neck. No––For years I was a fool, a profligate fool, wasting my life as I wasted all those thousands of dollars that I had not earned. I turned thief––a despicable sneak thief. At last the dirty crime found me out. I received a small share of the punishment that I deserved. Then you took me in––without question––treated me as a man. God knows I tried to be one!”