I walked the deck alone, the revolver stuck between my hip and my gaudy sash, as if I were a veritable pirate, and doubtless my appearance was not dissimilar to some of those nautical heroes who have been terrors of the sea. A pirate more dissatisfied with himself never trod a quarter-deck. If there had been a plank at hand I would willingly have walked it. It was no comfort that I despised the girl, for I despised myself a thousand times more. What right had I to interfere? Why had I not bowed to her when she ordered me away from the piano, and come at once on deck, without proffering any of my foolish explanations? The whole disgraceful row had arisen through my contemptible efforts to justify a situation which allowed of no justification. The piano was hers, as she truly said, and I had no more right to touch it than I had to wear her jewellery. My sole desire at first was to get ashore as soon as anchor was dropped, and never again see either father or daughter. But a few moments’ reflection showed me the quandary into which I had brought myself. I was already indebted to the old gentleman, not only for the money he had advanced to me, but for his kindness from the very first, which I had repaid by an interference in his family affairs that made me loathe myself. Never before had I felt so acutely the sting of poverty. Not even in my starvation days at Nagasaki had my lack of means borne so heavily upon me. It was utterly impossible for me to refund a penny of the pounds he had so generously bestowed upon me. The only requital in my power was that of honest service to him, and now I had made my stay on the yacht impossible, when, had I retained a modicum of sanity at the proper moment, I might have withdrawn with no loss of dignity. Now my own self-respect was gone, and I had more than justified every bitter taunt she flung at me.
So, in a very hopeless state of misery and dejection, I walked up and down the deck until Mr. Hemster himself came quietly up the companion-way and took his usual place in his wicker chair, setting his heels upon the rail in front of him, and biting off the end of a cigar. He gave me no greeting, but this also was usual with him, and so it meant nothing one way or another. However, I had at last made up my mind on a course of action, so I strode over to where he sat, and he looked up at me with what I took to be more of apprehension than censure in his gaze. It was no matter of wonder to me that he must be seriously doubting his wisdom in taking on board without recommendation a stranger who had just proved himself such a brawler.
“Mr. Hemster,” said I, “an apology is a cheap method of trying to make amends for what is inexcusable; but I should like to tell you, and I should like you to believe, how sorry I am for my conduct of a short time since. I regret to say it is impossible for me to return the money you have advanced. When I first had the pleasure of meeting you, I stated to you quite truthfully that I was at the end of my resources, and of course my prospects have not improved in the mean time, except in so far as your own favour is concerned, and that, I quite realize, I have forfeited. From this time until we sight land, I shall live forward with the crew in the forecastle, and shall not again come aft except in obedience to your orders. When we reach Corea I am entirely at your disposal. If you wish me to carry out the project you have in hand, I shall do so to the best of my ability; if not, I give you my word I will refund to you the money as soon as I can earn it.”
“Sit down,” he said very quietly, and when I had done so he remained silent, gazing over the rail at the distant horizon for what seemed to me a very long time. Then he spoke, never raising his voice above the level at which he always kept it.
“You are a little excited just now,” he said, “and take an exaggerated view of the matter. Do you think any one on deck heard that pistol-shot?”
“I don’t know; I rather imagine not. No one seemed at all on the alert when I came up.”
“Well, it sounded as if it would raise all creation down below, but perhaps it didn’t make such a racket up here. Now, if you went forward and lived with the crew, what would be the effect? They would merely say we made it impossible for you to live aft. I suppose by rights I shouldn’t mind what my crew thinks or says; but I do mind it. We are in a way a small democracy afloat, one man as good as another. If the firing were heard on deck, then the captain will be joking about it at luncheon time, and we’ll know. If it wasn’t, the least said about it the better. If you don’t like to come to meals, I haven’t a word to say; you can have them served in your own room. As for the money I advanced, that doesn’t amount to anything. I am sure you are just the man I want for what there is to do, and when that’s done it will be me that’s owing you money. I’m a good deal older than you, and I have found that in business a man must keep his temper, or he’s going to give all his adversaries a great advantage over him, and things are cut so close nowadays that no one can afford to give points to his rival. I’ve had to control my temper or be a failure, so I controlled it. My daughter hasn’t had to do that. Instead of blaming her, you should blame me. It’s my temper she’s got.”
“My dear Mr. Hemster, I assure you I am blaming neither of you; I am blaming myself.”
“Well, that’s all right. It’s a good state of Christian feeling and won’t do you any harm. Now you said that when we land you are willing to do anything I ask. Are you willing to do that before we go ashore?”
“Yes, Mr. Hemster, any command you may lay upon me I shall execute without question.”