There was a person, that having published several obscene and slanderous productions, took to himself the name of a bookseller. This fellow (whose name was Blackball) was peculiarly distinguished for what was some years ago denominated by the cant term of ink-making, that is, threatening to publish defamation, unless he was paid for concealment, an employment, in point of turpitude and infamy, analogous to the practice of that class of highway-robberies which extorts money by threatened charges of flagitious criminality; but not like these, subjecting the perpetrator to the gallows.
The first in the calumnious line, Blackball, was in some request in the fashionable world, and well known to the Countess: To him she applied in the present case, and instructed him to hunt for anecdotes concerning Hamilton and also Miss Mortimer. The countess learned that Maria had, about three years before, been for some months a parlour boarder at a respectable school in a village in which there was another much less respectable, and which about that time had been the subject of some discussion, on account of an adventure of one of the young ladies and a Frenchman: Blackball had heard the particulars from a young teacher, an intimate friend of his, that used to convey to the misses of the boarding-school such books and pictures as he was in the habit of collecting and vending; and for which the seminary in question afforded a sure and rapid sale. The story, it seems, had been hushed, and Blackball having been paid for secrecy, and also afraid if he published any thing on the subject, it might interfere with his custom, had adhered to taciturnity. On hearing the village mentioned, calling the circumstance to mind, he said, that he thought it would be no very difficult matter to confound the two schools, and attach the report in question to Miss Mortimer.—“Suppose, please your ladyship, we were to revive that story by a few smart paragraphs in the newspapers?” “How would you manage to introduce so old a story?” “Oh very easily!” said the other; “give it first as new, then acknowledge the mistake, and attack the illiberality of ripping up such matters at such a time.” He entered into particulars, which he explained to the satisfaction of his right honourable employer. Accordingly the next day there appeared the following paragraph: “In a certain boarding school not a hundred miles from one of the great northern roads, a French dancing-master has been teaching one of the scholars a new step.”—Two days after, another journal had it as follows: “The young lady that has been taking French lessons, has retired towards Yorkshire to meditate upon her instructions.” Next came paragraph third: “What a dearth of intelligence and entertainment there is to be found among our brother scribes! The story of the boarding-school is more than two years old.” In another part of the same journal the affection of obsoleteness was repeated with a moral reflection on the illiberality of reviving what had been almost forgotten, and a flaming metaphor about “calumny’s envenomed tooth.” The fifth article was,—“The young lady that was so shamefully traduced by a false report about a French dancing-master, has so satisfactorily cleared her character, that she is about to give her hand to a young baronet of great and increasing parliamentary eminence.—If he be satisfied, who has a right to be otherwise?” The sixth; “We can assure our readers, that Sir E. H. is not to marry Miss M——; the reasons of this change we do not undertake to explain.” Seventh,—“The boarding-school report still continues to haunt poor Miss M——r; not that she is under any dread of spectres; her disturbance is from flesh and blood.”—Eighth, in another paper, the same morning: “It has been reported that a young man of high and rising literary reputation is about to lead to the altar a young lady that has for several days engrossed the attention of the public; as he is a very respectable young man, we, on his account, hope he will look before he leap. What feeling heart but must deplore the fate of Altamont, though only fictitious! how much deeper must be regret when the case is real! Alas! we fear that like Horatio’s discovery, it will be too late.” Ninth was an advertisement in the same paper: “Tomorrow morning will be published, a faithful narrative of the Yorkshire Calista, including some anecdotes of the gay and sportive Lothario; humbly dedicated to Altamont H——n, Esq. of Lincoln’s Inn; not by permission; by the profound admirer of his genius and erudition, and the friend of his virtues, Horatio. Printed for J. Blackball.
Were you, ye fair, but cautious whom ye trust,
Did you but think how seldom fools are just,
So many of your sex would not in vain,
Of broken vows and faithless men complain:
Of all the various wretches love has made,
How few have been by MEN OF SENSE betrayed!”
Meanwhile our hero had seen the first paragraphs without any emotion; but he was struck with the article that mentioned a baronet of great parliamentary abilities, inserted in a morning paper, which he happened to see in a coffee-house. He reviewed the antecedent paragraphs. Firmly assured of the dignified virtue of his Maria, he did not, for a moment, feel any uneasiness on that account; nevertheless, one afternoon, suspecting that they meant to apply to her, he was filled with rage: an evening paper just coming in mentioning Sir E. H., initials that applied to no member of parliament but Sir Edward Hamden, he had no doubt but some villainous calumny was machinated against the adored mistress of his heart. He first thought of immediately interrogating the editors; but on a little cooler reflection he saw the propriety of consulting his friend, Sir Edward, and requesting him in the first instance to demand an account of the freedom used with his character, and who the young lady was who had been so disgracefully appended to his name. Sir Edward was abroad; and, though boiling with impatience, Hamilton was obliged to suspend all investigation till the next morning. Repairing home in the greatest agitation he found his mother, Charlotte, and Maria together. Having embraced Maria with impassioned violence, he recollected his resolution of concealing his partial discovery until he was able to make out the whole. He endeavoured to appear calm, but the attempt was unavailing, and the effort was obvious. Maria, with the most soothing affection, entreated him to inform them what had distressed him. He at first attempted to laugh away the idea, but finding that they were not to be imposed upon, he acknowledged that there was a paragraph in a newspaper, that appeared to convey an implication concerning Sir Edward Hamden that was very injurious, and which he was determined to investigate:—to-morrow morning, after seeing his friend, he would get at the particulars. The arrival of Captain and Mr. Mortimer, prevented any farther discussion of this subject; but Maria was extremely uneasy; she thought the agitation of Hamilton much greater than even friendship for Sir Edward Hamden could produce, and could not avoid thinking that she herself was somehow or other concerned. No opportunity occurred of making any enquiry that evening; she went home with her father and uncle, and immediately retired to her room, and brooding over the idea that Hamilton was distressed upon her account, she turned her imagination through the wild region of possibility, and coming to plausibilities, made a conjecture, not wide of the truth, that some attempt had been made in the public papers, in some way or other, unfavourable to her. She was conscious of no act or thought that could expose her to reproach; what could be the motive or cause of such an attempt? Bewildered in her labyrinth of possibilities, where she had no probable clue, she tormented herself with conjuring up successive phantoms of evil, and at last concluded that some rival was endeavouring to part her and her beloved Hamilton. Of the Countess of Cockatrice she knew nothing as a rival.—Louisa Primrose, she was well assured, was fondly attached to Hamilton, yet she appeared a very amiable girl; could such be guilty of suborning calumny? This idea she dismissed as illiberal and unjust; but was the more distressed that she could find no other to substitute in its place. After a sleepless night she rose early, and telling her servant she was going to call on Charlotte Hamilton, with whom she often walked before breakfast, she went out. Although it was hardly seven o’clock when she arrived at Mrs. Hamilton’s, she found that William had gone out at six, and had come back about half an hour after in a very great fluster, as the servant expressed it, had gone up stairs, and after staying some time was just gone out again. Charlotte presently joined her, and the maid coming to arrange the room in which they were, they moved into Hamilton’s library; there Charlotte happening accidentally to cast her eyes to the place where her brother’s pistols used to hang, perceived that the cases were empty, and without consideration remarked the circumstance to Maria. Miss Mortimer was extremely alarmed; remembering he had mentioned his intention of seeing Sir Edward early in the morning, they immediately concluded that William was engaged in some dangerous quarrel, in which his friend was to be his second; no time was to be lost; a coach was ordered immediately, and directed to drive with all speed to Sir Edward’s. It had reached the corner of Portland Street, where Maria eagerly exclaimed, “Mr. Hamilton.” William instantly joined them, and perceived the terrified countenance of both; they informed him of the cause of their alarms. He assured them that it was totally groundless; that he was on his way home to wait for Sir Edward, who would be with him in half an hour; and after giving orders to the coachman, reflecting that they might hear of the slanders from some other person, he resolved and promised to inform them as soon as he was at home. Accordingly he told them of the paragraphs he had seen the preceding day, and added that as he was repairing early that morning to the house of Sir Edward, he had seen several papers, two of which contained most infamous insinuations, and one an advertisement worse than the rest. In his anger he had determined to pistol the fabricator; but his friend Sir Edward had fully convinced him of the impropriety of such a proceeding, and that a resolute coolness only could effectually investigate the villainy, and bring its authors to condign punishment. By this time Mrs. Hamilton was up and breakfast was prepared, and while they were informing her of what had happened, and she making the comments of honour and rectitude upon such villainy, Sir Edward’s servant arriving told Hamilton his master was waiting at the Gray’s Inn coffee-house. They first proceeded to the house of the editor, in whose papers the most flagrant and pointed paragraphs had been inserted. Hamilton, on their way, expressed his surprize that so malignant a calumny should appear in a journal of considerable ability, and that did not require scandal to supply the want of valuable materials; besides, the editor, whom he knew very well, was a man of fair and respectable reputation. Sir Edward observed, that in the vast multiplicity of matter it must be difficult for the editor of a daily newspaper to guard against the insertion of very objectionable passages. Being introduced to the gentleman in question, Sir Edward opened the business as relating to himself; Mr. Hamilton stated its other objects, branches, and connections, and very strongly represented its gross falsehood and malignant tendency. Their purpose in troubling the editor, he said, was to require the name of the author. As the language and manner of both was temperate and polite, the editor conducted himself accordingly: he declared, upon his honour, that the paragraphs of both that and the preceding day had been inserted without his knowledge; that he had been out of town the two last days, and was only arrived that morning. He had seen his paper of the day before at Salt Hill, on his way to town, and was extremely sorry to observe a paragraph alluding to so respectable a member of the senate as Sir Edward Hamden. The paragraph in his paper of to-day was equally unknown to him; in itself it was insignificant, but connected with the advertisement, other paragraphs both in his and other papers, he acknowledged it appeared to be all one chain of defamation. He, himself, protested he did not know whence it proceeded; but as his paper had been one vehicle of the calumny, he would be extremely happy to trace it to its source; and added, that they themselves should dictate, as far as respected his paper, any strictures upon the slander, which they should judge expedient. Convinced that this editor was not intentionally to blame, they accepted of his apology, and Hamilton asked whether he could not see the hand writing in which the calumny had been conveyed. The editor not immediately answering this proposition, our hero observed that he was convinced no writer known to or approved by the editor could have sent such defamatory libels; but an anonymous calumniator was an assassin that attacked in the dark, and ought to be made public. The editor said he had not seen the hand-writing, but that there was a general rule to withhold from persons complaining of a libel, the means of establishing the proof. Hamilton immediately answered to this,—“Mr. Editor, I must take the liberty of observing that you misconceive my meaning; we do not want the hand-writing as the means of establishing the libel. The libel, sir, is printed and published by you, you assert, and we believe, without your knowledge, and contrary to your practice. But I am determined that the libel shall undergo the prosecution which its atrocity deserves; but we wish to prosecute the real author, and request from you the only means you can have, according to your statement, of giving the desired information; but I do not say I require or demand, because you have an alternative.” Hamilton now asked Sir Edward if he would go; Sir Edward answered he made no doubt but the editor would, on reflection, afford them the satisfaction which they desired. The editor asked if they could defer till the following morning pressing for a sight of the hand-writing? “I had much rather you would discover the truth in any other way; and, upon my honour, I have not seen the hand-writing. I think from the last part of the advertisement you have some kind of a clue.” “Well, sir,” said Hamilton, “I believe I comprehend you, and I shall promise not to require an answer to my questions about the hand-writing, till to-morrow morning.” At this time a servant calling the editor forth, he begged to be excused for a few minutes; and on his return said, that he had just learned the insertion to have arisen from the inadvertence of the person that acted for him as editor in his absence. The hand-writing he had now seen; but would say nothing on the subject until the following day; “I have only to observe one thing, that if you should happen to suspect any individual person, perhaps by pretending to know more than you do, you may best answer your purpose.”
Hamilton and Hamden now set off to the house of Blackball, and finding that worthy person at home, desired a few minutes conversation. He, bowing very obsequiously, requested their attendance in a back parlour. Hamilton, profiting by the hint of the editor, told Mr. Blackball that they had examined the paragraphs which they now presented to him, and found they were all deduceable from the same origin. “Now, Mr. Blackball, what we have to say to you is short; you will either confess yourself the author of the paragraphs in question, or stand the actions for defamation of Miss Maria Mortimer, in the paragraphs which we will prove to be from you. Will you or not?” “Gentlemen, you are very sudden,” said Blackball. Finding them, however, inexorable he fully confessed the whole. The different papers acknowledged themselves completely deceived: the countess’s scheme was entirely discomfited, and Blackball, for the present, was allowed a respite from the pillory.