Up he arched his brows o’ the instant—formidably Clive again.
“When was I most brave? I’d answer, were the instance half as plain
As another instance that’s a brain-lodged crystal—curse it!—here
Freezing when my memory touches—ugh!—the time I felt most fear.
Ugh! I cannot say for certain if I showed fear—anyhow,
Fear I felt, and, very likely, shuddered, since I shiver now.”
“Fear!” smiled I. “Well, that’s the rarer: that’s a specimen to seek,
Ticket up in one’s museum, Mind-Freaks, Lord Clive’s Fear, Unique!”
Down his brows dropped. On the table painfully he pored as though
Tracing, in the stains and streaks there, thoughts encrusted long ago.
When he spoke ’twas like a lawyer reading word by word some will,
Some blind jungle of a statement,—beating on and on until
Out there leaps fierce life to fight with.
“This fell in my factor-days.
Desk-drudge, slaving at Saint David’s, one must game, or drink, or craze.
I chose gaming: and,—because your high-flown gamesters hardly take
Umbrage at a factor’s elbow, if the factor pays his stake,—
I was winked at in a circle where the company was choice,
Captain This and Major That, men high of colour, loud of voice,
Yet indulgent, condescending to the modest juvenile
Who not merely risked, but lost his hard-earned guineas with a smile.
“Down I sat to cards, one evening,—had for my antagonist
Homebody whose name’s a secret—you’ll know why—so, if you list,
Call him Cock o’ the Walk, my scarlet son of Mars from head to heel!
Play commenced: and, whether Cocky fancied that a clerk must feel
Quite sufficient honour came of bending over one green baize,
I the scribe with him the warrior, guessed no penman dared to raise
Shadow of objection should the honour stay but playing end
More or less abruptly,—whether disinclined he grew to spend
Practice strictly scientific on a booby born to stare
At—not ask of—lace-and-ruffles if the hand they hide plays fair,—
Anyhow, I marked a movement when he bade me ‘Cut!’
“I rose.
‘Such the new manœuvre, Captain? I’m a novice: knowledge grows.
What, you force a card, you cheat, Sir?’
“Never did a thunder-clap
Cause emotion, startle Thyrsis locked with Chloe in his lap,
As my word and gesture (down I flung my cards to join the pack)
Fired the man of arms, whose visage, simply red before, turned black.
“When he found his voice, he stammered ‘That expression once again!’
“‘Well, you forced a card and cheated!’
“‘Possibly a factor’s brain,
Busied with his all important balance of accounts, may deem
Weighing words superfluous trouble: cheat to clerkly ears may seem
Just the joke for friends to venture: but we are not friends, you see!
When a gentleman is joked with,—if he’s good at repartee,
He rejoins, as do I—Sirrah, on your knees, withdraw in full!
Beg my pardon, or be sure a kindly bullet through your skull
Lets in light and teaches manner to what brain it finds! Choose quick—
Have your life snuffed out or, kneeling, pray me trim yon candle-wick!’