[5043]Bis puer effoeto quamvis balbutiat ore,

Prima legit rarae tam culta roseta puellae,

SUBSECT. IV.—Importunity and Opportunity of Time, Place, Conference, Discourse, Singing, Dancing, Music, Amorous Tales, Objects, Kissing, Familiarity, Tokens, Presents, Bribes, Promises, Protestations, Tears, &c.

All these allurements hitherto are afar off, and at a distance; I will come nearer to those other degrees of love, which are conference, kissing, dalliance, discourse, singing, dancing, amorous tales, objects, presents, &c., which as so many sirens steal away the hearts of men and women. For, as Tacitus observes, l. 2, [5054]“It is no sufficient trial of a maid's affection by her eyes alone, but you must say something that shall be more available, and use such other forcible engines; therefore take her by the hand, wring her fingers hard, and sigh withal; if she accept this in good part, and seem not to be much averse, then call her mistress, take her about the neck and kiss her, &c.” But this cannot be done except they first get opportunity of living, or coming together, ingress, egress, and regress; letters and commendations may do much, outward gestures and actions: but when they come to live near one another, in the same street, village, or together in a house, love is kindled on a sudden. Many a serving-man by reason of this opportunity and importunity inveigles his master's daughter, many a gallant loves a dowdy, many a gentleman runs upon his wife's maids; many ladies dote upon their men, as the queen in Ariosto did upon the dwarf, many matches are so made in haste, and they are compelled as it were by [5055]necessity so to love, which had they been free, come in company of others, seen that variety which many places afford, or compared them to a third, would never have looked one upon another. Or had not that opportunity of discourse and familiarity been offered, they would have loathed and contemned those whom, for want of better choice and other objects, they are fatally driven on, and by reason of their hot blood, idle life, full diet, &c., are forced to dote upon them that come next. And many times those which at the first sight cannot fancy or affect each other, but are harsh and ready to disagree, offended with each other's carriage, like Benedict and Beatrice in the [5056]comedy, and in whom they find many faults, by this living together in a house, conference, kissing, colling, and such like allurements, begin at last to dote insensibly one upon another.

It was the greatest motive that Potiphar's wife had to dote upon Joseph, and [5057]Clitiphon upon Leucippe his uncle's daughter, because the plague being at Bizance, it was his fortune for a time to sojourn with her, to sit next her at the table, as he tells the tale himself in Tatius, lib. 2. (which, though it be but a fiction, is grounded upon good observation, and doth well express the passions of lovers), he had opportunity to take her by the hand, and after a while to kiss, and handle her paps, &c., [5058] which made him almost mad. Ismenias the orator makes the like confession in Eustathius, lib. 1, when he came first to Sosthene's house, and sat at table with Cratistes his friend, Ismene, Sosthene's daughter, waiting on them “with her breasts open, arms half bare,” [5059]Nuda pedem, discincta sinum, spoliata lacertos; after the Greek fashion in those times,—[5060] nudos media plus parte lacertos, as Daphne was when she fled from Phoebus (which moved him much), was ever ready to give attendance on him, to fill him drink, her eyes were never off him, rogabundi oculi, those speaking eyes, courting eyes, enchanting eyes; but she was still smiling on him, and when they were risen, that she had got a little opportunity, [5061]“she came and drank to him, and withal trod upon his toes, and would come and go, and when she could not speak for the company, she would wring his hand,” and blush when she met him: and by this means first she overcame him (bibens amorem hauriebam simul), she would kiss the cup and drink to him, and smile, “and drink where he drank on that side of the cup,” by which mutual compressions, kissings, wringing of hands, treading of feet, &c. Ipsam mihi videbar sorbillare virginem, I sipped and sipped so long, till at length I was drunk in love upon a sudden. Philocharinus, in [5062] Aristaenetus, met a fair maid by chance, a mere stranger to him, he looked back at her, she looked back at him again, and smiled withal.

[5063]Ille dies lethi primus, primusque malorum

Causa fuit.———

This opportunity of time and place, with their circumstances, are so forcible motives, that it is impossible almost for two young folks equal in years to live together, and not be in love, especially in great houses, princes' courts, where they are idle in summo gradu, fare well, live at ease, and cannot tell otherwise how to spend their time. [5065]Illic Hippolitum pone, Priapus erit. Achilles was sent by his mother Thetis to the island of Scyros in the Aegean sea (where Lycomedes then reigned) in his nonage to be brought up; to avoid that hard destiny of the oracle (he should be slain at the siege of Troy): and for that cause was nurtured in Genesco, amongst the king's children in a woman's habit; but see the event: he compressed Deidamia, the king's fair daughter, and had a fine son, called Pyrrhus by her. Peter Abelard the philosopher, as he tells the tale himself, being set by Fulbertus her uncle to teach Heloise his lovely niece, and to that purpose sojourned in his house, and had committed agnam tenellam famelico lupo, I use his own words, he soon got her good will, plura erant oscula quam sententiae and he read more of love than any other lecture; such pretty feats can opportunity plea; primum domo conjuncti, inde animis, &c. But when as I say, nox, vinum, et adolescentia, youth, wine, and night, shall concur, nox amoris et quietis conscia, 'tis a wonder they be not all plunged over head and ears in love; for youth is benigna in amorem, et prona materies, a very combustible matter, naphtha itself, the fuel of love's fire, and most apt to kindle it. If there be seven servants in an ordinary house, you shall have three couple in some good liking at least, and amongst idle persons how should it be otherwise? “Living at [5066]Rome,” saith Aretine's Lucretia, “in the flower of my fortunes, rich, fair, young, and so well brought up, my conversation, age, beauty, fortune, made all the world admire and love me.” Night alone, that one occasion, is enough to set all on fire, and they are so cunning in great houses, that they make their best advantage of it: Many a gentlewoman, that is guilty to herself of her imperfections, paintings, impostures, will not willingly be seen by day, but as [5067]Castilio noteth, in the night, Diem ut glis odit, taedarum lucem super omnia mavult, she hateth the day like a dormouse, and above all things loves torches and candlelight, and if she must come abroad in the day, she covets, as [5068]in a mercer's shop, a very obfuscate and obscure sight. And good reason she hath for it: Nocte latent mendae, and many an amorous gull is fetched over by that means. Gomesius lib. 3. de sale gen. c. 22. gives instance in a Florentine gentleman, that was so deceived with a wife, she was so radiantly set out with rings and jewels, lawns, scarves, laces, gold, spangles, and gaudy devices, that the young man took her to be a goddess (for he never saw her but by torchlight); but after the wedding solemnities, when as he viewed her the next morning without her tires, and in a clear day, she was so deformed, a lean, yellow, shrivelled, &c., such a beastly creature in his eyes, that he could not endure to look upon her. Such matches are frequently made in Italy, where they have no other opportunity to woo but when they go to church, or, as [5069]in Turkey, see them at a distance, they must interchange few or no words, till such time they come to be married, and then as Sardus lib. 1. cap. 3. de morb. gent. and [5070]Bohemus relate of those old Lacedaemonians, “the bride is brought into the chamber, with her hair girt about her, the bridegroom comes in and unties the knot, and must not see her at all by daylight, till such time as he is made a father by her.” In those hotter countries these are ordinary practices at this day; but in our northern parts, amongst Germans, Danes, French, and Britons, the continent of Scandia and the rest, we assume more liberty in such cases; we allow them, as Bohemus saith, to kiss coming and going, et modo absit lascivia, in cauponem ducere, to talk merrily, sport, play, sing, and dance so that it be modestly done, go to the alehouse and tavern together. And 'tis not amiss, though [5071] Chrysostom, Cyprian, Hierome, and some other of the fathers speak bitterly against it: but that is the abuse which is commonly seen at some drunken matches, dissolute meetings, or great unruly feasts. [5072]“A young, pickedevanted, trim-bearded fellow,” saith Hierome, “will come with a company of compliments, and hold you up by the arm as you go, and wringing your fingers, will so be enticed, or entice: one drinks to you, another embraceth, a third kisseth, and all this while the fiddler plays or sings a lascivious song; a fourth singles you out to dance, [5073]one speaks by beck and signs, and that which he dares not say, signifies by passions; amongst so many and so great provocations of pleasure, lust conquers the most hard and crabbed minds, and scarce can a man live honest amongst feastings, and sports, or at such great meetings.” For as he goes on, [5074]“she walks along and with the ruffling of her clothes, makes men look at her, her shoes creak, her paps tied up, her waist pulled in to make her look small, she is straight girded, her hairs hang loose about her ears, her upper garment sometimes falls, and sometimes tarries to show her naked shoulders, and as if she would not be seen, she covers that in all haste, which voluntarily she showed.” And not at feasts, plays, pageants, and such assemblies, [5075]but as Chrysostom objects, these tricks are put in practice “at service time in churches, and at the communion itself.” If such dumb shows, signs, and more obscure significations of love can so move, what shall they do that have full liberty to sing, dance, kiss, coll, to use all manner of discourse and dalliance! What shall he do that is beleaguered of all sides?

[5076]Quem tot, tam roseae petunt puellae,

Quem cultae cupiunt nurus, amorque