'If you would only go out oftener, John!' said Lady Caroline. 'None of the men ever seem able to bring home anything larger than a small grilse.'
'Was it above or below the bridge you caught him? Captain Drysdale,' asked Miss Finlayson.
And so John was launched on an extended narrative of his day's spoil. Every bolt and plunge and feint and double of his fish was duly recorded, with sufficient local description to make the whole perfectly intelligible. He told his story remarkably well, and quite aroused the interest of his auditors. Too much so, perhaps, if the General's opinion had been asked; but then the General may have been hypercritical, owing to an idea he had of elevating dinner into one of the fine arts. 'You see,' he would say 'one can only dine once in twenty-four hours, that is to say if one is not to be talked about, which would be unpleasant, or to lose use of one's liver, which would be worse. And so, for myself I confess I look forward to dinner as the event of the day, and like to approach it in a proper spirit. There should be some talk of course, because we are neither beasts nor cannibals; but it should be light, gay, and cheerful, for good spirits promote digestion--yet not too engrossing--and especially--no discussion! That distracts the attention, till a man may not know whether it is a quail or a snipe he is eating. We want a cheerful tranquility at dinner, in order to appreciate rightly the dishes submitted; and give due attention to the business before us and that, I take it, is the deglutition of food.'
On the present occasion, however, the General's views were neither asked nor propounded, and John rambled pleasantly forward through the various events of his day.
'By the way, Kenneth! I met your old crony, young Brown, this morning. Poor lad! Fanaticism has changed him sadly; long-haired, lank-jawed, and saucer-eyed, that is what he has become. He might be a Covenanter, or a member of the Barebones Parliament. He appeared to be returning home from Inverlyon, where he must have been last night, for it was about eight o'clock when I met him on the road this morning, jogging along, (how he used to gallop about the countryside of old!) and mounted, of all beasts for a douce Free Kirk priest to be astride, on that poaching rascal Patey Soutar's pony!'
'Hm!' said the General,'I always said secession was just inserting the small end of the wedge! They quarrel with our vested right of patronage now, but that is only the beginning. By and by they will question our right to the grouse on our own hills, and want to repeal the game laws! If they had their way, I wonder would they leave us a roof over our heads, or a coat on our backs? That comes of your Reform Bills! and putting the government of the country in the hands of people who have nothing to lose! But I did not expect to see the son of my old friend array himself with such as these. It is very sad.'
'Did he seem cheerful, John?' asked Kenneth.
'He looked as I say, tired, thin, and hollow-eyed. But when I tried mildly to remonstrate, and show that he had made the change for the worse, he fired up briskly enough, and held forth quite at length. He might have been talking still, I daresay, but that just then, there came a squeal from a parcel he carried on his saddle bow. I pricked up my ears at that, and resolved to take my innings then. He had been discoursing on the solemnity of his avocations, which precluded shooting and fishing, so here I had a fine opening for chaff, saying that his presbytery might reasonably forbid these, seeing that it allowed other pastimes so much more engrossing, for--saving your presence, Lady Caroline--the bundle contained a baby! Poor fellow, he seemed so put-out, I really did not catch his explanation--though of course there was one, (there always is--) The confusion seemed quite out of proportion, for after all as the French girl said to her priest, "it was such a little one!" Ha, ha!!'
But no one joined in the laugh. The ladies were examining the flowers painted on their plates, and the gentlemen kept a severe silence. You surely went too far there! Captain John! Good man. He loved to make a joke, but it was not often that he achieved one. If desire had been qualification, he would certainly have been a wit; and when he thought he had achieved one, he repeated it till every one he knew had heard it. Hence the repetition of the morning's rather thread-bare jest.
Perhaps it was only to break an awkward silence that Miss Finlayson took up the word.