“Young men, excluded by the fanatical idea of chastity from the society of modest and accomplished women, associate with the most vicious and miserable beings, and thus destroy those exquisite and delicate sensibilities, whose existence cold-hearted worldings have denied; thus they annihilate genuine passion, and debase that to a selfish feeling which is the excess of generosity and devotedness. Their body and mind become a hideous wreck of humanity; idiocy and disease are perpetuated in their miserable offspring, and distant generations suffer for the ignorance of their forefathers.”
It has also been objected, that if the physical means of preventing undesirable conceptions were to become general, debauchery, immorality, and misery would be increased, and society would be much more degraded than it is. But this is a fallacy easily exposed, and those who conclude that dissolute conduct would be increased, are but ill-formed as to the actual amount of such conduct, and it is more than probable that if the facts were disclosed to them as they are known to exist by magistrates, overseers, and medical men, they would be astounded.
Multitudes of men never marry, a still greater number refrain from marrying until they grow comparatively old; yet most such men are practiced debauchees, and the mischief they do by the fraud and hypocrisy they produce is incalculable. This would not be so were a freer intercourse permitted and physical means adopted to prevent conceptions.
But the great good which would result from physical preventives, would be, that alliances would be early formed and in most cases would be lasting. Girls would not then surrender themselves to the caprice and injustice of men as they do now; men would not then be able to practice upon them as they do now.
A girl would then tell her lover that there was no impediment to their submitting to the form whatever it was that society had established, and as she would be sure to make a match, she would take care to keep herself in that state which would induce the man she liked to conform. The great obstacle to marriage under its present form, is the fear of a large family, and the poverty which results therefrom. This removed, marriages would become much more common. People would form alliances while young and unpracticed in deceit and hypocrisy, and would live virtuously and happily all their lives.
Whoever will examine the statements here put forth, will assuredly be convinced that a physical preventive of conception, if in general use, would put an end to an immense quantity of debauchery, and its attendant—misery; and would greatly improve the condition of the whole body of the people. Women, if we may be allowed the expression, would then be in much greater demand, as every young man would take a wife, and women would be all but infinitely more respected, than they are now. It is not possible to anticipate the happiness which would result from the physical check, if once brought into general use.
CHAPTER IX.
THE PURPOSES AND OBLIGATIONS OF MARRIAGE.
It is a strange world and man is a strange animal. It may appear wonderful that with such passions and powers as he possesses he should be so controllable, that he should become tamed down into a civilized being, and submit to such impositions on his desires, that make him a mere creature of circumstance; and yet from this very submission does he secure to himself the greater amount of joys and delights: so that what he partakes of by tolerance, or call it the unanimous consent of his fellow-men, is absolutely and infinitely more gratifying to him than would be the unrestricted indulgence of his appetites. The world abounds with inexhaustible sources of enjoyment, and man has capacity for all; but were it not for civil and wholesome restraints, it would be one continued brute struggle for possession. For no one circumstance have we more reason to rejoice in our civilization, than for the regulations regarding marriage. It is the basis of a nation’s prosperity and of individual happiness. It gives legal and strong possession of the object of our most earnest wish. It establishes regulation and order, forms ties of relationship, and makes each country one family. A happy marriage is the alpha and omega of every man’s hopes, nor is it less momentous to our companion. There is no pleasure in this life comparable to it where it is unalloyed by physical or mental disqualifications: but alas! how rarely is such a consummation to be found. It is a happy state indeed “when the fountain is blessed, and he rejoiceth with the wife of his youth, and she is to him as the loving hind and the pleasant roe, and he delights in her continually.”[[30]]
Although this marriage is but a civil contract, it should not be forgotten that if injudiciously made or its obligations be not fulfilled, the most calamitous results oftentimes ensue. Imagine a bargain, made between two persons, in which both parties have assumed more or less disguise or dissimulation towards the other, and which are only discovered when the treaty cannot be annulled. The lady’s dower may be handsome, or the gentleman’s prospects good and his pursuits most thriving; their respective families and connexions may be equally respectable, and neither consort nor husband have reason to regret that part of the arrangement, which the world only sees or hears of. It may be a love match, a match of many years’ making, a match in which the most delicious of all anticipations assumed every likelihood of being realized, and yet which one hour’s possession has destroyed. If the denouement be not so sudden, there may grow up a secret sorrow, a sorrow that has its source, like any other feeling, in some cause, just or evil, by the discovery of some concealed hindrance to mutual love. There may arise some justifiable personal dislike, there may be found to exist some impediment to the full and proper enjoyment of those connubial delights which instinct has taught each party to expect from the other. It is true, and well it is so, that all marriages have not hidden griefs, but that renders not those which have, the more endurable. Marriage mostly is a matter of love, policy, or convenience; it ought no less to be a matter of conscience. The legal right which the ceremony gives to the man, of his wife, which alienates her from the world, which enslaves her to his person and passions, or shuts her for ever out from the indulgence of her own, should not be sought without reflection; for although the law awards its punishment for infidelity which is sure to follow such dissimulation, it is a poor compensation for the mortification and distress which accompanies it. The very proceeding may prove alike that nature, as well as honour, have been outraged. Love is not the parent of sexual desire—it is the offspring; and if that instinctive passion be frustrated or deprived of its just entitlement, love soon loses its name, and goes one knows not whither. Yet there are proper bounds to every thing, an excess is frequently attended with more unhappy results than want.
The end of marriage, then, is to afford the legitimate use of amative enjoyments; to regulate the procreation of children; to ensure succession, and thereby transmit one’s property and identity; to cultivate domestic happiness, and thereby give all an equal incentive to aspire to the same possession; and also to afford protection when so obtained. If any deception be practiced towards each other the culpable party will incur, sooner or later, the rarely failing punishment—disappointment in their pleasures, their domestic anticipations, and their hopes of hereditary succession.