Cle. And what shall
Be done with all those locks of hair you have?
Erg. Why, I'll make buttons of 'em, and had they half
The value that I swore they had when I did beg 'em,
Rich orient diamonds could not equal them:
Some came eas'ly, and some I was forc'd to
Dig for in th' mine.
Cle. And your priz'd liberty—
What shall become of that?
You swore you would not marry till there were
A law established that married men
Might be redeem'd, as slaves are.
Erg. I was an ass when I talk'd so:
Those damned books of chastity I read
In my minority corrupted me; but since
I'm practis'd in the world, I find there are
No greater libertines than married men.
'Tis true 'twas dangerous, this knot, in the
First age, when it was a crime to break vows:
But, thanks to Venus, the scene is alter'd,
And we act other parts. I'll tell thee
The privileges we enjoy when we are married.
First, our secrecy is held authentic, which is
Assurance will take up any woman
At interest, that is not peevish; then th' acquaintance which our wives bring us, to whom at times I carry my wife's commendations; and if their husbands be not at home, I do commend myself.
Cle. For what, I prythee?
Erg. For a good dancer, a good rider, a good ----, anything that I think will please 'em.
Cle. Thou'lt have a damnable conceit of thy wife, by thy knowledge and opinion of all other women, unless you think her a phœnix.
Erg. 'Twill be my best resolution. But hark in thy ear, rogue: I could be content to think, and wish mine and all for the public good, and wear my horns with as much confidence, as the best velvet-head of 'em all, and paint them in my crest with this inscription These he deserved for his love to the commonwealth.