Phil. Yes, if you ladies would set your hands
To this paper, to quit me as to all promises,
I will; and also, my reverend nurses,
You must set your hands to this discharge,
To quit me from all arrears of nursing:
Else farewell t'ye—
Omnes. Well, well, stay; we will. [Set their hands.
Phil. So, now you may go take the air
Again; there's the key to let yourselves out.
Omnes. A cheating rogue!
Phil. Come, Mirida, let's run away, for if
They catch us, murder is the best we can
Hope for. [Exit, with Mirida.
1st Nurse. They went this way; let's run after
Them, some one way and some t'other. [Exeunt Women.
Ping. So you may, but if I run away, then
Hang me; I am glad of my resurrection
Howsoever. On my conscience, no green
Carcase ever stunk as I did; to my best
Remembrance I went to stool some
Threescore times in the vault, ergo
I was beaten threescore times; the
Unmerciful nurses, with their huge
Palm'd hands, every time I went to't,
Play'd at hot-cockles[76] all the while upon
My buttocks. Well, I hope I shall ne'er be
Buried again whilst I live, and so with
That prayer I'll go to bed.
Enter Mirida.
Mir. My dear fat love, little dost thou think how many
Tears I have shed for all thy sufferings; that rogue
Philidor put a trick upon us all.
Ping. Well, and has physic, heats, burial,
Nor resurrection, made me yet lean
Enough to be thy husband? why, I have
Lost as much grease as would furnish
A whole city with candles for a twelvemonth
And all for the love of thee, sweet Mirida. [Cries and sobs.