"Why?" I asked. Yet I knew the meaning and the truth of his words.
"You don't love the poor people," he answered, his words coming slow, as if with pain; his eyes pleadingly fixed on mine.
"What makes you say that, Gordon?" and my voice shook a little.
"Because I see it every day, dear. You don't care for that part of my work at all," and his voice was inexpressibly sad. "I know what you mean by what you've just said—about wishing I had been a lawyer."
"I didn't say I wished it—you know I didn't," I corrected vigorously.
"But that's what you meant. I know it—I've known it long. Oh, my darling," he suddenly broke out, like one owning at last to a long-hidden pain, "do you think I've been blind to it all? Do you think I haven't seen the noble efforts my brave little wife has made to be interested in my work—and all her disappointment that we're poor and humble—and her longing for the things that I can never give her. And yet you've been so lovely and unselfish about it all, my dear one, trying to hide it from me," and I could feel my cheeks burn with shame at the words. One of his arms was partly round my neck, his hand toying with my hair; and he drew me close and held me tight. The shelter was wondrous sweet.
"Oh, Gordon," I said, the tears coming as I spoke, "don't talk to me like that; please don't—you know I was so young. And I never had any experience like this—I was brought up so differently. And I do want to be happy—so much, I want to be happy. And you, dear, I want you to be happy too."
"And so I am," he exclaimed passionately—"except that I'm lonely; I'm so lonely, Helen. Oh, if you only loved the things I love, the poor, the sick, the sorrowing—if you only loved them all, and loved to help them—I wouldn't trade places with the richest and the grandest of them all."
"Oh, Gordon," I sobbed, "how could you say it?—you mean you'd trade now! And I've tried so hard."
He soothed me, caressing and comforting as though I were a child. "It's been hard for you, my darling," he murmured in my ear; "and you don't know all you've been to me—you really don't."