“Ay, they are very queer shaped craft,” said the captain. “But John Chinaman’s no great shakes at ship-buildin’, although he thinks he’s wonderful. Look at that heavy lumbering junk. She looks like a great thick-headed old muff, as does’n’t know his helm from his taffrail. The Albatross would take the conceit out o’ her in no time. And look at these here outlandish looking barges—there’s no sense in ’em.”
“The country has rather an interesting character;” observed Oriel.
“It’s all accordin’ to taste,” replied Hearty.
“These here islands o’ sand ar’nt ’ticularly lovely to my thinking; and I can’t abide the ugliness o’ the craft.”
“In what manner do these people now behave to foreigners?” inquired Zabra.
“Why it ar’nt quite so bad as what I’ve read on in ancient history;” said the captain. “They’ve had a sick’ner for coming that sort o’ fun; but they coil up their noses pretty stiffish even now. They allow travellers to wander about and examine their notables, which they did’nt use to do; but I should recommend any fellow, who’s more nor ordinary ’quisitive, to look out for squalls. I have heard say as people ha’ been missed who was axing their way through the country; and not a spar or a bolt-rope on ’em ever heard on again.”
“About five years ago I was in this here part o’ the world,” said Climberkin, joining in the conversation; “and I had a very narrow escape o’ bein’ done for in that fashion. I was bo’sun aboard the Whittington, a reg’lar tip top merchantman, as Master Porphyry had in the China trade at that time, and after a wearisome cruise I had been jollificating up the country with a few mates, when I came alongside as smart a piece o’ China ware as ever I clapped my eyes on. Well, she did’nt understand none o’ my lingo, and I could’nt circumnavigate any o’ her’n; but we had signals flying at our eyes like winkin’, and we pretty soon heaved to, and were yard arm and yard arm, and looked at each other till all was blue again. I discovered that she belonged to the crew o’ a man-tea-maker’s ’stablishment, and got her livin’ pretty comfortable, by alays ’turnin’ over a new leaf (though she never did nuffin wrong to sinnify); and so I thought as how if that was the way o’ sailin’, I might bring her to book wi’ her own leave, without any botheration whatsomdever. Just as I was making way in the business, I received a ’munication from one o’ my mates, who was up to their lingo, that some half a dozen o’ the Chinamen with whom she ’sociated, were on a reg’lar take in about my consortin’ wi’ her, and had entered into a ’spiracy to nail down the hatches on my goings on. Me and my little frigate were in the habit o’ cruisin’ in a grove o’ prime timber, by the side o’ a rice field, and it was here-about’s that the man-tea-makers thought o’ dishing me as strong as could be; but I took care that they should meet wi’ a mighty difference. After preparin’ every thin’ as was necessary, I got my mates to lie in ambush, and began a courtin’ a way in a style as would make the jealousy rise out o’ a dead nigger. I had’nt been long at this here fun, when up comes the whole lot on ’em screechin’ like mad, and they bears down upon me threatenin’ the most completest spiflification as you can imagine. Their eyes flared up most immensely. Their teeth seemed playing at knives to grind; and they whirled about monstrous bludgeons that would have made no bones o’ me, had I suffered ’em to scrape my acquaintance. My cretur struck her flag and down she went; but before the teapots came to close quarters, I put my bo’sun’s whistle into play; and pulled out a pair of ‘do-for-you’s,’ as my mates coming up and showing the same signs o’ welcome, surrounded the poor devils in such a way as they could’nt move no how.”
“And what did you do with your rivals?” inquired Oriel, considerably amused by the lieutenant’s narrative.
“Why, I’d al’ays heard it recommended to do as you’d be done by,” replied Climberkin; “so we got the sticks from the Chinamen, and took the flavour out on ’em in a manner as left ’em nuffin to complain of. But we wern’t satisfied with such an act o’ justice. You must know that each o’ these tea-dealers has a tail to his head, from two to three feet long, o’ which he is as proud as is a peacock o’ his tail, and shaves all the rest o’ his cranium as smooth as glass. Knowin’ this, we’d brought lots o’ rosin and twine; and, while some o’ our chaps made ’em lump it if they didn’t like it most considerably, we spliced them all together from the small ends down’ards, for several inches, strong and tight as a patent cable; then, seeing a tree close at hand with the loveliest fork possible for our purpose, we hauled ’em up wi’ ropes over the branch till half on ’em hung on one side and half on the tother, by nuffin in the world but their own precious tails. Didn’t they raise a bit of a shindy! Such howlin’, such squallin’—such kickin’, such scratchin’—such a reg’lar rowdy-dow no set o’ humans ever made afore. And there we left ’em, as the ancient poet says, wi’ each partic’lar hair standin’ on end, while we crowded all sail to our own ship.”