[CHAP. X.]
ILLUSTRATIONS OF THE DANGER OF GOOD INTENTIONS.
“I tell you what it is, Boggle,” said Climberkin to his friend, as they were pacing the quarter-deck together, “You’re al’ays getting yourself into scrapes. You’ve got a notion as you can do things in the most tip top manner, and you make a reg’lar mommock of every thin’ you sets about.”
“All I knows o’ the matter is, that I likes to ha’ ’ticular notions o’ things in general, as every man as is a man, and thinks like a man, should,” replied the other. “But I arn’t such a stoop as to allow every body to come his handy dandy sugarcandy over me. I knows a marlin spike from a gun carriage.”
“But there was no ’casion for you to ’noy the cap’ain by comin’ the high and mighty over his nevey,” observed Climberkin.
“Well, I did it for the best,” responded his companion. “You see the young chap arn’t quite up to his dooty; so I thought, as I was his superior officer, it was the most properest thing in natur for me to tell him what’s what. But I recomembered as young people has feelings, and that it would be best to make my ’munication as pleasant as possible; so the next time I comed alongside Mr. Midshipman Loop, I says, quite delicately, says I, you’re a lubberly young son of a sea cow, as arn’t fit to do nuffin but to count your fingers, or cut your toe-nails. You’re al’ays a skylarking arter some precious mischief or another. No matter whether you’re aloft among the reefers, or down below, right-fol-de-dolin’ at the mess, you’re up to no sort o’ good whatsomdever. I arn’t no patience wi’ sich varmint; and if you don’t do your dooty in a less ’jectionable sort o’ fashion, I’m pretty considerably spiflicated if I don’t make sich a report o’ your wagabondisings as shall make you catch more toko than you’ll be able to digest in a month. Well, instead of the fellow being grateful for the handsome way in which I’d tried not to hurt none o’ his feelins, he looks at me w’ as much water in his eyes as ’ould do to wash his face in; and in a short time arterwards up comes the cap’ain, and gives me sich a sittin’ down as didn’t leave me a leg to stand on.”
“You’d been too hard upon the young un,” observed Climberkin: “there was no necessity for speaking so sharp.”
“It’s always the way I gets served out whenever I attempts to do a good action,” replied Boggle. “Nobody has better intentions nor I have; but, somehow or another, whenever I’ve ’tempted to do a fellow a good turn, the end on it is the treatment I meets wi’ gives me sich a turn as puts me into a perfect ’stonishment.”
“You don’t go the right way to work, Boggle—that’s it, depend on’t,” replied his companion.