“Who’ll bile the paraties and pale ’em and ate ’em!
Who’ll drink all the butthermilk I used to swallow!
Who’ll hand round the whiskey, and take his own share too
Wid mighty convanience.
“Oh Teddy O’Riley your reign’s put a stop to,
Small blame to your sowl! you’re a king now no longer,
You’re smashed all to smothers, and dished up and done for
In a way most amazin.
“Not brave Alexander, or Nebuchadnezzar,
Who went out to grass wid the rest ov the cattle,
Not Moses, or Boney, nor yet Cleopatra,
Were treated so vilely.
“Its meself that is up to me eyes in amazement
To see you desaved and surrounded by villains,
Who are wantin to place your poor neck in a halter
Bad luck to their mothers!
“Is it rope you’re desirin? the divle a ha’porth.
Is it hanged that you would be? not me then by Japers,
Oh! there’s sinse and there’s rason in your own way ov thinkin,
You’re cliver intirely.
“But sorrow a hope have ye got to indulge in,
For there hangs the rope like a murtherin blaguard,
Wid a knot at one end, and a noose at the other.
Oh what ’ill I do now?”
Oriel Porphyry, who had laughed exceedingly at the whole scene, now stepped forward, and, by his interference, saved his majesty’s life.
“I always thought that Ireland formed a portion of the British dominions,” observed the young merchant.
“So it did,” replied Fortyfolios, “and enjoyed an unexampled state of prosperity; but the people were always dissatisfied and unreasonable; and were ever accusing the government of the country by which they were ruled of creating that social disorganisation which was the effect of their own evil habits—and which had existed, as may be proved by a reference to their own annals, as far back as it was possible to refer—and, upon the first opportunity, they threw off their allegiance to the British empire, and became, as they had previously been, a separate kingdom. As might have been expected, internal strife now appeared. As had formerly been the case, the country was cut up into a party of petty monarchies, that were continually at war with each other. These having gradually become smaller and more numerous, there is now a king to every potato-garden, of which class of monarchs his majesty of Blatherumskite is an example; and when these fellows are not striving to exterminate each other, they make piratical excursions to the neighbouring coast, and there create all the mischief in their power, by robbing, plundering, killing, and burning.”