“Take a seat, my dear sir!” repeated the other, in the same tone and manner.
“Floss, why don’t you give the gentleman a chair?” cried number one, sharply.
“Floss, why don’t you give the gentleman a chair?” cried number two in a similar voice.
“I should prefer standing in the presence of ladies for whom I have such perfect respect,” said I, with another bow equally profound.
“Oh, you are too good!” mumbled the first, with something that was intended to be a smile.
“Oh, you are too good!” muttered the other, after the same fashion.
“I have come all the way from the village of Parrot-cum-Poodle for the express purpose of elucidating an important point in the pedigree of the respectable and ancient family which still bears the name of that distinguished place,” said I, with the gravest face I had ever made use of. “When the Parrot-cum-Poodles first intermarried with the Tabbies, connected as the Tabbies previously were with the Macaws, one of the collateral branches of the Parrot-cum-Poodle family; and the Macaws having formed several alliances with the Pugs, I am desirous of knowing what degree of consanguinity the Pugs bear to the present descendants of the ancient race of the Parrot-cum-Poodles, because it is an inquiry of exceeding interest, and one of the utmost value towards a right understanding of the family genealogy. You must remember, that when the branch of the Tabbies became extinct for want of heirs male, there was a lineal descendant that could trace his pedigree in a direct line up to the first inheritor of the ancient name of Parrot-cum-Poodle; but he being abroad at the time when the title was declared extinct, knew nothing of his legal claim to the honourable name of his ancestors, and had a large family which were brought up in perfect ignorance of their relationship with the Tabbies. One of these has lately married a remote branch of the Pugs: now the descendants of this pair will stand in a very extraordinary point of relationship to the Parrot-cum-Poodles; and I should wish to know where any of these descendants are to be found.”
“The oldest old lady had gradually opened her mouth as I proceeded to show the labyrinth of the Parrot-cum-Poodle genealogy, till it was extended as far as it could stretch, and she stared at me through her spectacles with as complete a look of mystification as it was possible to imagine, and was turning towards the youngest old lady when she met a mouth equally wide, and eyes equally mystified on the point of turning towards her with the same desire for explanation. All this time Floss had stood behind them making the most desperate efforts to swallow her pocket-handkerchief.
“However it is sufficient to say, that after having bothered the old folks till they did not know whether they were standing on their head or their heels, I took my departure; and so ended my second folly, for I never saw Floss again. And now, having amused you, don’t you see, which is all I aimed at, I must insist upon your going to Oriel Porphyry, and inquiring of him whether there exist any reason for your suspicions.”
“I will try and do it,” replied Zabra, in a more cheerful tone than he had previously used; “and I hope it may be as you say.”