“Spiflicated—spiflicated—well spiflicated—regularly spiflicated—I must confess that I ought to be right down regularly spiflicated, smothered, smashed, dished up and done for;” acknowledged the unfortunate captain’s clerk, with a most woeful physiognomy and a sincerity of manner that carried conviction to his hearers.
“I likes to make ev’ry fellar comfortable arter his own fashion,” said Boggle, with the utmost gravity; and then addressing a sailor who was grinning from ear to ear at a few paces distant, he cried, “I say, Solemnchops! just rig a noose in the main top gallant halyards.”
“I’ll do it wi’ pleasure for the gentleman, sir;” replied the man, benevolently hastening to execute the command.
“Now, master Log, I begs to say as how I got no notion o’ hurtin’ any o’ your feelins,” continued the lieutenant; “but I considers it necessary for your health as you should be hanged. I knows unkimmon well as human natur’ is human natur’, and in consequence o’ that ere I comes to the conclusion as it is the most properest thing as is for you to make yourself agreeable to your friends wi’ a dance upon nuffin. But afore I leaves you in this here moloncholy perdickyment, I think ’t will be but friendly in me to hint to you as how you ought to die like a respectable ’dividual; arn’t you rayther a miserable sinner?”
“A miserable sinner!—a miserable sinner! a very miserable sinner—a very shocking miserable sinner, indeed I may say a very extraordinary shocking miserable sinner, and no mistake;” cried the unhappy Log.
More dead than alive the trembling wretch had the noose placed round his neck, and was run up to the halyards, accompanied by the consolations of the friendly Boggle.
“Hullo! what are you about there? Let that man down directly!” shouted the captain as he approached the scene, and the ex-captain’s clerk descended upon the deck with a velocity that sent all the breath out of his body. “What’s the meaning o’ this?”
“Why, you see, sir,” replied the second lieutenant, with his usual gravity; “I can’t say as Master Log be given to drinkin, but I sartainly seed him just now unkimmonly elewated.”