“Murder!—my head’ll be cuttit aff! Holy minister! congregation!—oh, my head maun be cuttit aff! It’s a judgment for leaving my ain godlie Mr. Peebles at the Newton, an’ comin’ to hear a paper minister.”
After being extricated, and asked why he put his head there, he said, “It was to look on wi’ anither woman!”
Rab was one day offered the choice of a sixpence or a penny.
“I’ll no be greedy,” said he, “I’ll jist tak’ the wee white ane.”
Receiving a gratuitous dinner at a favourite inn in Kilmarnock one day, and dining to his heart’s content, the waiter remarked, as he was preparing to leave the table—
“I’m sure ye’ve gotten a guid dinner the day, Rab!”
“Ou, ay,” replied Rab; “atweel have I; but if the folk o’ Ayr speir if I got a dram after’t, what will I say?”
Rab’s dream is well known. Dr. Auld often showed him kindness, but being once addressed by him when in a hurry, and out of humour, he said—
“Get away, Rab—I’ve nothing for you to-day.”
“Whaw! whew!” cried Rab, in a half howl, half whining tone, “I dinna want onything the day, Mister Auld. I wanted just to tell you aboot an awsome dream I had; I dreamed I was dead.”