“Nae doot, sir, nae doot. But eh! (bursting into tears) there never was surely ony puir woman fash’d wi’ sic a set o’ deein’ men as I’ve had.”
Another dame who had a similar experience in husbandry, took a brighter view of the situation. “Ay,” she said, “first it was John Tamson, then it was Dawvit Soutar, syne Peter Anderson, then Tammas M’Farlane. Noo it’s Willie Simpson; and eh! I wonder whase dear lamb I’ll be next?”
The practice of house-to-house visitation and congregational catechising have yielded a host of anecdotes, one or two of which must suffice here. A country minister, accompanied by one of his elders, was visiting in the most outlying parts of his parish, and early in the afternoon arrived, after a long walk, at the house of a maiden lady, who kept a cow, a pig, and a few hens, etc. The house was so far removed from every other human habitation that anyone who reached it was in instant need of refreshment. On the arrival of her minister and elder, the good lady accordingly produced the kebbuck, a dish of milk, and a quantity of cakes. They were a welcome feast, for the visitors were famishing of hunger after their long and arduous walk. They therefore “laid their lugs amang” the eatables in a style which struck terror to the heart of their extra frugal hostess. By and by, and still “pegging away” at the pile of cakes and whangs of well-seasoned cheese, the minister looked over to Janet and remarked that he was very glad to see her in the church on Sabbath last, and asked her if she remembered the subject of his discourse.
“Ay, fine that,” said she; “’twas the parable o’ the loaves an’ the fishes.”
“Exactly, Janet,” said the minister; “and what useful lesson did you derive from the exposition of the parable?”
“Weel, naething particular at the time, sir, but I was just sittin’ thinkin’ aboot it there a meenit syne.”
“Well, Janet, that is very interesting; and what thought occurred to you a minute since in connection with the subject?”
“Weel, sir, I was just thinkin’ that gin the elder an’ you had been amang the multitude there wadna have been sae mony basketfu’s left.”
The answers vouchsafed in diets of catechetical examinations were often shrewd, if sometimes ridiculous. “What are the decrees of God?” was once asked of an old dame.