Sandy agreed to this arrangement. Several Sabbaths passed, and nothing out-of-joint was said or heard. The precentor, however, still kept his “lug on the cock,” and at length his patience was rewarded. Lecturing one day on that chapter of the Scriptures which describes Samson as catching three hundred foxes, tying them tail to tail, casting firebrands in their midst, starting them among the standing corn of the Philistines, and burning it down.
“My friends,” said he, “you will be wondering in your minds how Samson could tie so many foxes tail to tail, for the best man in Scotland couldn’t tie two of our foxes’ tails together. Samson, however, was the strongest man the world has ever seen, and these Eastern foxes, travellers tell us, had very long tails—tails, indeed, forty and fifty feet long. [Precentor emits a low thin whistle.] I should have said,” continued the preacher, “that—that—is the account given by the earliest travellers to the East, and that recent investigation had proved its inaccuracy, and that these foxes’ tails could not have exceeded about twenty feet in length. [Sandy whistles again.] Twenty feet did I say,” continues the minister, “yes! but the matter has very recently been commanding attention in scientific circles, and it is doubted whether foxes’ tails, in any part of the world, ever at any time, exceeded ten or twelve feet in——” [Sandy whistles.] At this crisis, the minister strikes his book with his clenched fist, and leans over the pulpit and exclaims, “I’ll tell you what it is, Sandy Johnstone, I’ll no tak’ anither inch aff thae foxes’ tails tho’ ye sit there and whistle till the day o’ joodgment!”
“I tell you what it is, Sandy Johnston, I’ll no tak’ anither inch aff thae foxes’ tails tho’ ye sit there and whistle till the day o’ joodgement!”—[Page 168.]
Yes! as already stated here, the Scotch precentor is a decaying institution; yet luckily for his peace of mind there are still a respectable number in the land who think with the old lady who remarked, “Organs, nae doot, mak’ unco grand music; but, eh! it’s an awfu’-like way o’ spendin’ the Sawbath!”
CHAPTER VII
HUMOURS OF DRAM-DRINKING IN SCOTLAND
“Leeze me on drink, it gie’s us mair
Than either school or college:
It kindles wit, it waukens lear,