It hath beene vsed as a common by-word, a craftie knaue needeth no Broker, whereby it should appeare that there can hardlie bee a craftier knaue than a Broker. Suspend your iudgements till you haue heard this Discourse ensuing, and then as you please, censure both the one and the other.
A Ladie of the Countrie sent vp a seruant whome she might well put in trust, to prouide hir of a gowne answerable to such directions as she had giuen him, which was of good price, as may appear by the outside and lace, whereto doubtlesse was euerie other thing agreeable: for the Tayler had seuenteen yards of the best black satten could be got for monie, and so much golde lace, beside spangles, as valued thirteene pound, what else was beside I know not, but let it suffice, thus much was lost, and therefore let vs to the manner bow.
The satten and the lace being brought to the Tayler that should make the gowne, and spread abroade on the shop boord to be measured, certaine good fellowes of the Conny-catching profession chanced to go by, who seeing so rich lace, and so excellent good satten, began to commune with themselues how they might make some purchase of what they had seene: and quickly it was to bee done or not at al. As euer in a crew of this quality, there is some one more ingenious and politique then the rest, or at least wise that couets to make himselfe more famous then the rest: so this instant was there one in this companie that did sweare his cunning should deepelie deceiue him, but he would haue both the lace and satten, When hauing laid the plot with his companions, how and which waie their helpe might stand them in stead, this they proceeded.
Well noted they the seruing-man that stood in the shoppe with the Tailer, and gathered by his diligent attendance, that he had some charge of the gowne there to be made, wherefore by him must they worke their trecherie intended, and vse him as an instrument to beguile himselfe. One of them sitting in a seate nere vnto the Tailers stall, could easily heare the talke that passed betweene the seruing-man and the Tayler, where among other communication, it was concluded that the gowne should be made of the selfe same fashion in euery point, as another Ladies was who then lay in the citie, and that measure being taken by her, the same would sirlie serue the Lady for whome the gowne was to bee made: now the seruingman intended to go speake with the Ladie, and uppon a token agreed betweene them (which he careleslie spake so lowd, that the Conny-catcher heard it) he would as her leisure serued, certifie that Tailer, and he should bring the stuffe with him, to haue the Ladies opinion both of the one and the other.
The seruingman being gone about his affaires, the subtill mate that has listned to all their talke, acquaints his fellows both with the determination and token appointed for the Tailers comming to the Lady. The guide and leader to all the rest for villany, though there was no one but was better skilde in such matters then honestie: he appoints that one of them should go to the tauerne, which was not farre off, & laying two fagots on the fire in a roome by himselfe, and a quarte of wine filled for countenance of the treacherie: another of that crue should giue atteudance on him, as if hee were his maister, being bare headed, and sir humblie answering at euery word. To the tauern goes this counterfet gentleman, and his seruant waiting on him, where euery thing was performed as us before rehearsed. When the master knaue calling the drawer, demanded if there dwelt neere at hand a skillfull Tailer, that could make a suite of veluet for himselfe, marry it was to be doone with very great speed.
The Drawer named the Tailer that we now speake of, & upon the drawers commending his cunning, the man in all hast was sent for to a gentleman, for who he must make a sute of veluet foorthwith. Upon talke had of the stuffe, how much was to be bought of everything appertayning thereto: he must immediatly take measure of this counterfet gentleman, because he knew not when to returne that waye againe, afterward they would go to the Mercers. As the Tailer was taking measure on him bare headed, as if he had bin a substantiall gentleman indeed, the craftie mate had cunningly gotten his pursse out of his pocket, at the one string whereof was fastened a little key, and at the other his signet ring: This bootie he was sure of all readie, whether he should get any thing els or no of the mischiefe intended, stepping to the window he cuts the ring from the pursse, and by his supposed man (rounding him in the eare) sendes it to the plot-layer of this knauerie, minding to traine the tailer along with him, as it were to the mercers, while he the meane time tooke order for the other matter. Afterward speaking alowde to his man, Sirrha, quoth hee, dispatch what I bad you, and about foure of the clock meet me in Paules, by that time I hope the tailer and I shall have dispacht. To Cheapside goeth the honest Tailer with this notorious dissembler, not missing his pursse for the space of two houres after, in lesse then halfe which time the satten and golde lace was gotten likewise by the other villain from the Taylers house in this order.
Being sure the Tayler should bee kept absent, hee sends another mate home to his house, who abused his servants with this devise: that the ladies man had met their master abroad, and had him to the other Ladie to take measure of her, and least they should delaye the time too long, hee was sent for the satten and lace, declaring the token appointed, and with all giving their masters signet ring for better confirmation of his message, The servants could doe no lesse then deliuer it, being commanded (as they supposed) by so credible testimony: neither did the leasure of anie one serue to goe with the the messenger, who seemed an honest young Gentleman and carried no cause of distrust in his countenance: wherefore they delivered him the lace and satten folded up together as it was, and desired him to will their master to make some speede home, both for cutting out of worke, and other occassions.
To a Broker fit for their purpose, goes this deceiuer with the satten lace, who knowing well they could not come honestly by it, nor anie thing else hee bought of that crew, as often before he had dealt much with them: either gaue them not so much as they would haue, or at least as they iudged they could haue in another place, for which the ring-leader of this coosnage, vowed in his mind to be reuenged on the Broker. The master knaue who had spent two houres and more in vaine with the Tailer, and would not like of anie veluet he saw, when he percieued that he mist his purse, and could not deuise how or where he had lost it, shewed himselfe verie sorrie for his mishap, and said in the morning he would send the veluet home to his house, for he knew where to speed of better then anie he had seene in the shops. Home goes the Tailer verie sadly, where he was entertained with a greater mischance, for there was the Ladies seruing-man swearing and stamping, that he had not seen their master since the morning they parted, neither had hee sent for the satten and lace, but when the seruantes insisted their innocencie, beguiled both with the true token rehearsed, and their masters ring, it exceedeth my cunning to set downe answerable wordes to this exceeding griefe and amazement on their part, but most of al the honest Tailer, who sped the better by the Brokers wilfulnes, as afterward it happened, which made him the better brooke the losse of his purse. That night all means were used that could bee, both to the Mercers, brokers, goldsmiths, goldfiners, & such like, where happily such things doe come to bee solde: but all was in vaine, the onely helpe came by the inuenter of this villanie, who scant sleeping all night, in regard of the brokers extreme gaining, both by him and those of his profession: the next morning he came to the Tailers house, at what time hee espied him with the Ladies seruing-man, comming forth of the doores, and into the tauern he went to report what a mishap hee had upon the sending for him thether the daie before.
As he was but newly entered his sadde discourie, in comes the partie offended with the broker, and hauing heard all (whereof none could make better report than himselfe) he takes the tailer and seruing-man aside, and pretending great griefe for both their causes, demands what they would thinke him worthy of that could help them to their good againe. On condition to meete with such a friend, offer was made of fiue pound, and after sundrie speeches passing between them alone, be seeming that he would would worke the recouerie thereof by arte, and they premising not to disclose the man that did the good, he drew forth a little booke out of his bosome, whether it was latine or english it skilled not, for hee could not reade a word on it, then desiring them to spare him alone a while, they shoulde perceiue what hee woulde doe for them. Their heartes encouraged with some good hope, kept all his wordes secret to themselues: and not long had they sitten absent out of the roome, but he called them in againe and seeming as though he had been a scholler in deed, sayd he found by his figure that a broker in such a place had their goods lost, and in such a place of the house they should finde it, bidding them go thether with all speed, and as they found his wordes, so (with referring to themselues how they came to knowledge therof) to meet him there againe in the euening, and reward him as he had deserued.
Awaie in hast goes the Tailor and the seruing-man, and entering the house with the Constable, found them in the place where hee that reueald it, knew the broker alwaie laid such gotten goods. Of their ioy againe, I leaue you to coniecture, and thinke you see the broker with a good paire of bolts on his heele, readie to take his farewell of the worlde in a halter, when time shall serue. The counterfet cunning man, and artificial conny-catcher, as I heard, was paide his fiue poundes that night. Thus one craftie knaue beguiled another, let each take heed of dealing with anie such kind of people.