When the voice was silent, Dion went slowly upstairs. The door of Rosamund’s little room was shut. He paused outside it, and stood looking at it, the movable barrier of dark shining wood which divided him from the voice. When he was ascending the stairs he had meant to go in to Rosamund. But now he hesitated, and presently he turned away. He felt that a greater barrier than the door was between them. He might open the door easily enough, but the other barrier would remain. The life of the body seemed to him just then an antagonist to the life of the soul.
“I’m on the lower plane,” said Dion to himself that evening. “If it’s a boy, I shall have to look after his body; she’ll take care of the rest. Perhaps mothers always do, but not as she could and will.”
From this moment he devoted himself as much as possible to his body, almost, indeed, with the ardor of one possessed by a sort of mania. The Artists’ Corps took up part of his time; Jenkins another part; he practised rifle shooting as diligently almost as if he expected to have to take his place almost immediately in the field; he began to learn fencing. Rosamund saw very little of him, but she made no comment. He explained to her what he was doing.
“You see, Rose,” he said to her once, “if it’s a boy it will be my job eventually to train him up to be first-class in the distinctively man’s part of life. No woman can ever do that. I mustn’t let myself get slack.”
“You never would, I’m sure.”
“I hope not. Still, lots of business men do. And I’m sitting about three-quarters of my time. One does get soft, and the softer a chap gets the less inclined he is to make the effort required of him, if he wants to get hard. If I ever am to be the father of a growing-up son—when they get to about sixteen, you know, they get awfully critical about games and athletics, sport, everything of that kind—I should like to be able to keep my end up thoroughly well with him. He’d respect me far more then. I know exactly the type of fellow real boys look up to. It isn’t the intelligent softy, however brainy he may be; it’s the man who can do all the ordinary things superlatively well.”
She smiled at him with her now curiously tranquil yellow-brown eyes, and he thought he saw in them approval.
“I think few men would prepare as you do,” she said.
“And how many women would prepare as you do?” he returned.
“I couldn’t do anything else. But now I feel as if we were working together, in a way.”