“My dear child,” said the nun, “what is it?”
Isabel closed the door and stood looking at her, with her lips parted.
“How can I know, Mistress Margaret,” she said, in the voice of a sleep-walker, “whether this is the voice of God or of my own wicked self? No, no,” she went on, as the other came towards her, frightened, “let me tell you. I must speak.”
“Yes, my child, you shall; but come and sit down first,” and she drew her to a chair and set her in it, and threw a wrap over her knees and feet; and sat down beside her, and took one of her hands, and held it between her own.
“Now then, Isabel, what is it?”
“I have been thinking over it all so long,” began the girl, in the same tremulous voice, with her eyes fixed on the nun’s face, “and to-night in bed I could not bear it any longer. You see, I love Hubert, and I used to think I loved our Saviour too; but now I do not know. It seems as if He was leading me to the Catholic Church; all is so much more plain and easy there—it seems—it seems—to make sense in the Catholic Church; and all the rest of us are wandering in the dark. But if I become a Catholic, you see, I can marry Hubert then; and I cannot help thinking of that; and wanting to marry him. But then perhaps that is the reason that I think I see it all so plainly; just because I want to see it plainly. And what am I to do? Why will not our Lord shew me my own heart and what is His Will?”
Mistress Margaret shook her head gently.
“Dear child,” she said, “our Saviour loves you and wishes to make you happy. Do you not think that perhaps He is helping you and making it easy in this way, by drawing you to His Church through Hubert. Why should not both be His Will? that you should become a Catholic and marry Hubert as well?”
“Yes,” said Isabel, “but how can I tell?”
“There is only one thing to be done,” went on the old lady, “be quite simple and quiet. Whenever your soul begins to be disturbed and anxious, put yourself in His Hands, and refuse to decide for yourself. It is so easy, so easy.”