“All their sins stand before them, and produce in their essences remorse, eternal despair and a hostile will against God. For such a soul there is no remedy. It cannot come into the light of God.... Even if St. Peter had left many thousand keys upon earth, not a single one of them could open Heaven for it.”
A German Mystic.
Poena Damni
We were sitting at dinner one evening when the priest, who had been talkative, seemed to fall into a painful train of thought that silenced him. He grew more and more ill at ease, and was obviously relieved when I threw my cigarette away and he was able to propose a move to the next room. Presently his distress seemed to pass; and then, as we sat near the fireplace, he explained himself.
“I must ask your pardon,” he said, “but somehow I fell into a very dreadful train of thought. It was suggested to me, I think, by the red lamp on the table and the evening light through the windows, and the silver and glass. (You know the power of association!) I went through one of the most fearful moments of my life under just those circumstances.”
I was silent, as the priest seemed to have more to say.
“It has affected my nerves,” he said, “and it would be rather a relief to tell you. Would you mind if I did so?”