An ould man found, one day, a young gentleman's portmantle, as he were a going to es dennar; he took'd et en and gived et to es wife, and said, "Mally, here's a roul of lither, look, see, I suppoase some poor ould shoemaker or other have los'en; tak'en, and put'en a top of the teaster of tha bed; he'll be glad to hab'en agin sum day, I dear say." The ould man, Jan, that was es neame, went to es work as before. Mally then opened the portmantle, and found en et three hunderd pounds. Soon after thes, the ould man not being very well, Mally said, "Jan, I'ave saaved away a little money, by the bye, and as thee caan't read or write, thee shu'st go to scool" (he were then nigh threescore and ten). He went but a very short time, and comed hoam one day and said, "Mally, I waint go to scool no more, 'caase the childer do be laffen at me: they can tell their letters, and I caan't tell my A, B, C, and I wud rayther go to work agen." "Do as thee wool," ses Mally. Jan had not been out many days, afore the young gentleman came by that lost the portmantle, and said, "Well, my ould man, did'ee see or hear tell o' sich a thing as a portmantle?" "Port-mantle, sar, was't that un, sumthing like thickey?" (pointing to one behind es saddle). "I vound one the t'other day zackly like that." "Where es, et?" "Come along, I carr'd'en and gov'en to my ould 'ooman, Mally; thee sha't av'en, nevr vear.—Mally, where es that roul of lither I broft en tould thee to put en a top o' the teaster of the bed,
afore I go'd to scool?
" "Drat thee emperance," said the young gentleman; "thee art bewattled;
that were afore I were born.
" So he druv'd off, and left all the three hunderd pounds with Jan and Mally.
178. Yorkshire
Men an' women is like so monny cards, played wi' be two oppoanents, Time an' Eternity: Time gets a gam' noo an' then, and hez t' pleasure o' keepin' his cards for a bit, bud Eternity's be far t'better hand, an' proves, day be day, an' hoor be hoor, 'at he's winnin incalcalably fast.—"Hoo sweet, hoo varry sweet is life!" as t' fiee said when he wur stuck i' treacle!
179. Effect of Provincialisms