1. Cockney Hairdresser.—"They say, sir, the cholera is in the Hair, sir!" Gent (very uneasy). "Indeed! Ahem! Then I hope you're very particular about the brushes you use." Hairdresser. "Oh, I see you don't nunderstand me, sir; I don't mean the 'air of the 'ed, but the hair hof the hatmosphere?"
  1. Cockney Sweep (seated upon a donkey).—"Fitch us out another penn'orth o' strawberry hice, with a dollop o' lemon water in it."
  1. Feminine Cookney (by the sea-side.)—"Oh, Harriet, dear, put on your hat and let us thee the stheamboat come in. The thea is tho rough!—and the people will be tho abthurdly thick!"

Alum First Discovered A.D. 1300.

192. Correction

Londoners who desire to correct the defects of their utterance cannot do better than to exercise themselves frequently upon those words respecting which they have been in error.

193. Hints for the Correction of the Irish Brogue

According to the directions given by Mr. B. H. Smart, an Irishman wishing to throw off the brogue of his mother country should avoid hurling out his words with a superfluous quantity of breath. It is not