“For God’s sake!” I cried, “for God’s sake, what is this that I have done?” and carried my fists to my temples. “What made me do it? Sure, I am bewitched to say these things!”
“In the name of heaven, what ails you now!” she cried.
“I gave my honour,” I groaned, “I gave my honour and now I have broke it. O, Catriona!”
“I am asking you what it is,” she said; “was it these things you should not have spoken? And do you think I have no honour, then? or that I am one that would betray a friend? I hold up my right hand to you and swear.”
“O, I knew you would be true!” said I. “It’s me—it’s here. I that stood but this morning and out-faced them, that risked rather to die disgraced upon the gallows than do wrong—and a few hours after I throw my honour away by the roadside in common talk! ‘There is one thing clear upon our interview,’ says he, ‘that I can rely on your pledged word.’ Where is my word now? Who could believe me now? You could not believe me. I am clean fallen down; I had best die!” All this I said with a weeping voice, but I had no tears in my body.
“My heart is sore for you,” said she, “but be sure you are too nice. I would not believe you, do you say? I would trust you with anything. And these men? I would not be thinking of them! Men who go about to entrap and to destroy you! Fy! this is no time to crouch. Look up! Do you not think I will be admiring you like a great hero of the good—and you a boy not much older than myself? And because you said a word too much in a friend’s ear, that would die ere she betrayed you—to make such a matter! It is one thing that we must both forget.”
“Catriona,” said I, looking at her, hang-dog, “is this true of it? Would ye trust me yet?”
“Will you not believe the tears upon my face?” she cried. “It is the world I am thinking of you, Mr. David Balfour. Let them hang you; I will never forget, I will grow old and still remember you. I think it is great to die so: I will envy you that gallows.”
“And maybe all this while I am but a child frighted with bogles,” said I. “Maybe they but make a mock of me.”
“It is what I must know,” she said. “I must hear the whole. The harm is done at all events, and I must hear the whole.”