Cosmographers, and I their map, who lie
Flat on this bed, that by them may be shown
That this is my south-west discovery,
Per fretum febris, by these straits to die.
Donne was the poet-geographer of himself, his mistresses, and his God. Other poets of his time dived deeper and soared to greater altitudes, but none travelled so far, so curiously, and in such out-of-the-way places, now hurrying like a nervous fugitive, and now in the exultation of the first man in a new found land.
[V.—Horace Walpole]1
1. Letters of Horace Walpole; Oxford University Press, 16 vols., 96s. Supplementary Letters, 1919; Oxford University Press, 2 vols., 17s.
Horace Walpole was “a dainty rogue in porcelain” who walked badly. In his best days, as he records in one of his letters, it was said of him that he “tripped like a pewit.” “If I do not flatter myself,” he wrote when he was just under sixty, “my march at present is more like a dab-chick’s.” A lady has left a description of him entering a room, “knees bent, and feet on tiptoe as if afraid of a wet floor.” When his feet were not swollen with the gout, they were so slender, he said, that he “could dance a minuet on a silver penny.” He was ridiculously lean, and his hands were crooked with his unmerited disease. An invalid, a caricature of the birds, and not particularly well dressed in spite of his lavender suit and partridge silk stockings, he has nevertheless contrived to leave in his letters an impression of almost perfect grace and dandyism. He had all the airs of a beau. He affected coolness, disdain, amateurishness, triviality. He was a china figure of insolence. He lived on the mantelpiece, and regarded everything that happened on the floor as a rather low joke that could not be helped. He warmed into humanity in his friendships and in his defence of the house of Walpole; but if he descended from his mantelpiece, it was more likely to be in order to feed a squirrel than to save an empire. His most common image of the world was a puppet-show. He saw kings, prime ministers, and men of genius alike about the size of dolls. When George II. died, he wrote a brief note to Thomas Brand: “Dear Brand—You love laughing; there is a king dead; can you help coming to town?” That represents his measure of things. Those who love laughing will laugh all the more when they discover that, a week earlier, Walpole had written a letter, rotund, fulsome, and in the language of the bended knee, begging Lord Bute to be allowed to kiss the Prince of Wales’s hand. His attitude to the Court he described to George Montagu as “mixing extreme politeness with extreme indifference.” His politeness, like his indifference, was but play at the expense of a solemn world. “I wrote to Lord Bute,” he informed Montagu; “thrust all the unexpecteds, want of ambition, disinterestedness, etc., that I could amass, gilded with as much duty, affection, zeal, etc., as possible.” He frankly professed relief that he had not after all to go to Court and act out the extravagant compliments he had written. “Was ever so agreeable a man as King George the Second,” he wrote, “to die the very day it was necessary to save me from ridicule?” “For my part,” he adds later in the same spirit, “my man Harry will always be a favourite; he tells me all the amusing news; he first told me of the late Prince of Wales’s death, and to-day of the King’s.” It is not that Walpole was a republican of the school of Plutarch. He was merely a toy republican who enjoyed being insolent at the expense of kings, and behind their backs. He was scarcely capable of open rudeness in the fashion of Beau Brummell’s “Who’s your fat friend?” His ridicule was never a public display; it was a secret treasured for his friends. He was the greatest private entertainer of the eighteenth century, and he ridiculed the great, as people say, for the love of diversion. “I always write the thoughts of the moment,” he told the dearest of his friends, Conway, “and even laugh to divert the person I am writing to, without any ill will on the subjects I mention.” His letters are for the most part those of a good-natured man.