"Ods bobs, old Teff, I don't know what will become of me!"
"Why, what's the matter?" said Affidavy.
"Why, ods bobs," blubbered the other, "one day, when I was a little boy, I licked my father; and there's no good can come of it."
"Tush, you ass," said the attorney, "you might have trounced your mother too, if you had been so minded. But, botheration on you, let me go, and drink your cock-tail."
"Well, I will," said Lingo; "but it's a murdering piece of business to whip one's father; and I've a notion to give myself up, and let 'em hang me. But I can't hang without counsel, and I can't spare money to pay a fee. Now, old Teff, my boy, you're my friend, and if you'll make a speech for me for nothing——I always stuck up for your being the cutest lawyer in the county, and I'll lick any body that says No to it——now if you'll make me a speech, I reckon I may get off for nothing, with a clear 'quittal."
"Drink, you fool," said Affidavy; "I'll take the case, and charge you nothing."
"He, he!" said Lingo, snatching up his glass, "we'll go 'em, then, slick as a snake in a new skin. Here's to you, Teff, my old boy! and the devil eat his liver that don't drink smash down to the bottom! Hic—cup,—here's to you."
He swallowed his potation, and the attorney, without a moment's hesitation, drained his own at a single draught. But scarce had he withdrawn the glass from his lips, before he started up, exclaiming,
"God bless our two souls! what was in the glass? Ah, Lingo, you fool, 'twas that cursed bounce you spilled in it! Vile trash, you dog, vile trash!"
"What! my bounce?" cried Lingo, indignantly; "as good bounce as was ever brewed, and, ods bobs, a good deal better. But now, you jolly old Teff, let's sing a song. Don't sit there staring at me, like a starved cat; but sing, you old rascal; let's sing 'Vain Britons.'"