"Here's evidence that'll be a smasher; and then the bottle of laudanum! Oh, you old Teff," he cried, shaking his fist, but more in exultation than anger, "when you mean to p'ison any of your friends, don't you go for to get the p'ison the same day; lay it up a month before-hand. Ods bobs, if you wasn't as poor as a rat, I'd have an action ag'in you on my own account, for an attempt to murder. But, ods bobs, I do think now you look like a singed cat,—I do, Affidavy!"
Here he burst into another roar, having indulged which, he rose, and satisfied with the terror he had inflicted, proceeded very coolly to inform the discomfited prisoner that his case was not so bad as he thought; that he had not 'blowed him' yet; and that he didn't know whether he would, for he was a merciful man in his way. "I smoked you, Affidavy," said he, "as soon as I heard you talk of your client, and saw you show that 'ere guinea,—'specially when you fell so much in love with me of a sudden, and with the jail here. I sent Hans after you, and he saw you ride out on the prisoner's horse; and, ods bobs, I thought of sending some so'diers to dog after you; but they was all out in the bushes already. Then I went to the doctor's shop, to get some laudanum for an aching tooth, and said he, 'Vy there's Affidafy has peen pying laudanum for an aching tooth, too!'—Oho! said I; and then, old boy, I was ready for you. And you see the end! while you was lying snorting here like a corn-fed pig, we was knocking the tories on the head at the yard-gate. And then we had the coroner on 'em, and you no wiser; and the magistrates and all the town inquiring into the fuss, and you no wiser; and there, indeed, there's your client, poor fellow, they're trying in court as hard as they can, the evidence all over, the speeches half done, and still, Affidavy, my boy, you no wiser. Ha, ha! I do think you look like an apple-dumpling that's tumbled out of the pot, and staring up out of the ashes!"
"Well, Bob," said Affidavy, with an attempt at a laugh, that ended in a groan, "I knock under to you: you've beat me hollow. But now, if you please, and with many thanks to you for not blabbing, I'll take that wallet, and the guineas; and as for the silver, why I don't care if you keep it."
"No, I reckon not," said Lingo, with a grin. "But, I'm thinking, you'll just take the silver yourself, and be thankful I let you off so easy. What, man, do you suppose I'll run the risk of defending you from a prosecution—a criminal prosecution, d'ye see—by holding my tongue, for nothing? Don't go to be such a fool."
"Well then," said Theophilus, with a groan, "do as you like, and let me out."
"Not so fast, neither," said Lingo; and then added, with a nod of the head, "I reckon there's more of the shiners where these come from?"
"Well," said Affidavy, "what then?"
"Why then," said Lingo, "I don't care if I run a risk with you, and go snacks."
"Will you?" said Affidavy. "Then, ehem, humph!—You know what I mean; and there's a thousand a-piece on that note!"
"The ready, old boy, the ready! hang all your paper promises; I go for the ready."