I was upon the tenter whilst he spoke, lest, before he had done, a question I had a thousand times thought to have asked my wife, should slip out of my head, as it had so often done before, and was what I had for years desired to be resolved in; viz., what the meaning of the word slit was, when applied to a man. So, on his pausing, I said that his mention of Crashdoorpt reminded me of inquiring what crashee meant, when applied to a glumm or gawry. "It would be no hard task," he said, "to satisfy me in respect of that, as I already understood the nature of the graundee;" whereupon he went on thus: "Slitting is the only punishment we use to incorrigible criminals: our method is, where any one has committed a very heinous offence, or, which is the same thing, has multiplied the acts of offence, he has a long string tied round his neck, in the manner of a cravat; and then two glumms, one at each end, take it in their hands, standing side by side with him; two more standing before him, and two behind him; all which in that manner take flight, so that the string keeps the criminal in the middle of them: thus they conduct him to Crashdoorpt, which lies farther on the other side of Arndrumnstake than this arkoe does on this side of it, and is just such an arkoe as ours, but much bigger within the rocks. When they come to the covett they alight, where my deputy immediately orders the malefactor to be slit, so that he can never more return to Normnbdsgrsutt, or indeed by any means get out of that arkoe, but must end his days there. The method of slitting is thus: The criminal is laid on his back with his graundee open, and after a recapitulation of his crimes, and his condemnation, the officer with a sharp stone slits the gume * between each of the filuses ** of the graundee, so that he can never fly more. But what is still worse to new-comers, if they are not very young, is the light of the place, which is so strong that it is some years before they can overcome it, if ever they do."
This discourse gave me a great pleasure; thereupon I repeated the dialogue that had passed between me and Youwarkee about my being slit, and how we had held an argument a long time, without being able to come at one another's meaning. "But pray, brother," says I, "how comes that light country to agree so well with you?"—"Why," says he, "the colambat *** of Crashdoorpt is reckoned one of the most honourable employments in the state, by reason of the hazard of it, and the person accepting it must be young: it was, by my father's interest at court, given to me at nine years of age; my friend Rosig has followed my fortune in it ever since, being much about my age, and has a post under me there: in short, by being obliged to be so much there, and from so tender an age too, I have pretty well inured myself to any light."
* The membrane.
** Ribs.
*** Government.
By this time we had got home again to dinner, which Pedro had set out as elegantly as my country could afford, consisting of pickles and preserves, as usual, a dish of hard eggs, and boiled fowls with spinage.
My guests, as I expected, stared at the fowls, but never offered to touch them, or seemed in the least inclined to do so. I was afraid they would be cold, and begged them to let me help them. I put a wing on each of their plates, and a leg on my own; but perceiving they waited to see how I managed it, I stuck in my fork, cut off a slice, dipped it in the salt, and put it in my mouth. Just as I did they did, and appeared very well pleased with the taste. "I never in my life," says Rosig, "saw a crullmott*of this shape before;" and laid hold of a leg (taking it for a stick I had thrust in, as he told me afterwards), intending to pull it out; but finding it grew there, "Mr. Peter," says he, "you have the oddest-shaped crullmotts that ever I saw; pray what part of the woods do they grow in?"—"Grow in?" says I.—"Aye," says he, "I mean whether your crullmott-trees are like ours or not?"—"Why," says I, "these fowls are about my yard and the wood too."—"What!" says he, "is it a running plant like a bott?" **—"No, no," says I, "a bird that I keep tame about my house; and these (showing him the eggs) are the eggs of these birds, and the birds grow from them."—"Pr'ythee," says Quangrollart, "never let's inquire what they are till we have dined; for my brother Peter will give us nothing we need be afraid of."
* A fruit like a melon.
** A gourd.
It growing into the night by that time we rose from table, I set a bowl of punch before them, made with my treacle and sour ram's-horn juice, which they pulled off plentifully. After some bumpers had gone round, I desired my brother to proceed where he left off, in the account of my wife's reception with her father.
"When my father," says he, "had recovered himself by some hours' repose, the first thing he did was to order my sister Youwarkee to be called; who, coming into his presence, he took her from her knees, kissed her, and ordered all to depart but myself and Hallycarnie. Then bidding us sit down, says he to your wife, 'Daughter, your appearance, whom I have so long lamented as dead, has given me the truest cordial I could have received, and I hope will add both to my health and years. I have heard you suspect my anger for some part of your past conduct (for he had hinted so to her sister and me), which you justly enough imagined may be censured; but, my dear life, I am this day, what I did not expect any more to be, a father of a new-born child; and not of one only, but of many; and this day, I say, daughter, shall not be spent in sorrow and excuses, or anything to interrupt our mutual felicity; neither will I ever hereafter permit you to forget my forgiveness, or attempt to palliate any of your proceedings; for know, child, that a benevolence freely bestowed is better than twice its value obtained by petition: I, therefore, as in presence of the Great Image, your brother and sister, at this instant erase from my mind for ever what thoughts I may have had prejudicial to the love I ever bore you, as I will have you to do all such as may cloud the unreserved complacency you used to appear with before me. And now, Quangrollart,' says he, 'let the guard be drawn out before my covett, and let the whole country be entertained for seven days; proclaim liberty to all persons confined; and let not the least sorrow appear in any face throughout my colambat.'
"I retired immediately, and gave the necessary orders for the speedy despatch of my father's commands, which indeed were performed to the utmost; and nothing for seven days was to be heard through the whole district of Arndrumnstake but joy and the name of Youwarkee.
"My father, so soon as he had despatched the above orders, sent for the children before him, whom he kissed and blessed, frequently lifting up his eyes in gratitude to the Great Image for the unexpected happiness he enjoyed on that occasion; and then he ordered Youwarkee to let him know what had befallen her in her absence, and where she lived, and with whom.