With a flick of his narrow wrist, the clerk opened the Alcoholic Reliever, revealing a 52-inch screen.
"I need--" Caswell began.
"Therapy," the clerk finished for him. "Of course. I just wanted to point out that this model need never cause embarrassment for yourself, your friends or loved ones. Notice, if you will, the recessed dial which controls the desired degree of drinking. See? If you do not wish total abstinence, you can set it to heavy, moderate, social or light. That is a new feature, unique in mechanotherapy."
"I am not an alcoholic," Caswell said, with considerable dignity. "The New York Rapid Transit Corporation does not hire alcoholics."
"Oh," said the clerk, glancing distrustfully at Caswell's bloodshot eyes. "You seem a little nervous. Perhaps the portable Bendix Anxiety Reducer--"
"Anxiety's not my ticket, either. What have you got for homicidal mania?"
The clerk pursed his lips. "Schizophrenic or manic-depressive origins?"
"I don't know," Caswell admitted, somewhat taken aback.
"It really doesn't matter," the clerk told him. "Just a private theory of my own. From my experience in the store, redheads and blonds are prone to schizophrenia, while brunettes incline toward the manic-depressive."
"That's interesting. Have you worked here long?"