Mr. Sponge's Sporting Tour

by Robert Smith Surtees

'Would you like a little claret?' asked Sponge, with all the hospitality of a host.

'No, hang your claret!' replied Jack.

'A little brandy, perhaps?' suggested Sponge.

'I shouldn't mind a glass of brandy,' replied Jack, 'by way of a nightcap.'

Spigot, at this moment entering to announce tea and coffee, was interrupted in his oration by Sponge demanding some brandy.

'Sorry,' replied Spigot, pretending to be quite taken by surprise, 'very sorry, sir—but, sir—master, sir—bed, sir—disturb him, sir.'

'Oh, dash it, never mind that!' exclaimed Jack; 'tell him Mr. Sprag—Sprag—Spraggon' (the bottle of port beginning to make Jack rather inarticulate)—'tell him Mr. Spraggon wants a little.'

'Dursn't disturb him, sir,' responded Spigot, with a shake of his head; 'much as my place, sir, is worth, sir.'

'Haven't you a little drop in your pantry, think you?' asked Sponge.