It is recorded that a parrot which was seized by a kite and carried into the air, escaped by exclaiming Sancte Thoma adjuva me! for upon that powerful appeal the kite relaxed his hold, and let loose the intended victim. This may be believed, though it is among the miracles of Thomas a Becket, to whom and not to the great schoolman of Aquino, nor the Apostle of the East, the invocation was addressed. Has any other human name ever wrought so remarkable a deliverance?
Has any other name made a greater noise in the world. Let Lincoln tell, and Oxford; for although “omnis clocha clochabilis in clocherio clochando, clochans clochativo, clochare facit clochabiliter clochantes,” yet among them all, Master Janotus de Bragmardo would have assigned pre-eminence to the mighty Toms.
The name then is sufficiently vindicated, even if any vindication were needed, when the paramount merits of my claimant are considered.
Merry Andrew likewise should be presented to receive the same honour, for sundry good reasons, and especially for this, that there is already a Sir Sorry Andrew.
I should also recommend Tom Noddy, were it not for this consideration, that the honour would probably soon be merged in an official designation, and therefore lost upon him; for when a certain eminent statesman shall be called from the Lower House, as needs he must ere long, unless the party who keep moving and push him forward as their leader, should before that time relieve him of his hereditary rights, dignities, and privileges, no person can possibly be found so worthy to succeed him in office and tread in his steps, as Tom Noddy.
Nor is Jack Pudding to be forgotten who is cousin-german to that merry man Andrew! He moreover deserves it by virtue of his Puddingship; the Puddings are of an ancient and good family: the Blacks in particular boast of their blood.
Take reader this epigram of that cheerful and kind-hearted schoolmaster Samuel Bishop of Merchant Taylors, written in his vocation upon the theme Aliusque et Idem—
Five countries from five favorite dishes name
The popular stage buffoon's professional name.
Half fish himself, the Dutchman never erring
From native instinct, styles him Pickle Herring.
The German whose strong palate haut-gouts fit,
Calls him Hans Werst, that is John-Sausage-Wit.
The Frenchman ever prone to badinage
Thinks of his soup, and shrugs, Eh! voila Jean Potage!
Full of ideas his sweet food supplies,
The Italian, Ecco Macaroni! cries.
While English Taste, whose board with dumplin smokes,
Inspired by what it loves, applauds Jack Pudding's jokes.
A charming bill of fare, you'll say, to suit
One dish, and that one dish a Fool, to boot!
“A learned man will have it,” says Fuller, “that Serapis is nothing more than Apis with the addition of the Hebrew Sar, a Prince, whence perchance our English Sir.” Odd, that the whole beast should have obtained this title in Egypt, and a part of it in England. For we all know that Loin of Beef has been knighted, and who is not pleased to meet with him at dinner? and John Barleycorn has been knighted, and who is not willing to pledge him in all companies in a glass?
But wherefore should I adduce precedents, as if in this age any regard were paid to them in the distribution of honours, or there could be any need of them in a case which may so well stand upon its own merits.