“I had the lines read once,” she said drearily, “but nobody ever said I’d be here, or that there’d be any war.” And she continued to examine her palm with a hurt expression in her blue eyes.
The Special Messenger laughed, and her lovely, pale face lighted up with color.
“Don’t you really think you are ever going to be capable of caring for a man again?”
“No, I don’t. I know now how they’re fashioned, how they think—how—how revolting they can be.... No, no! It’s all gone—all the ideals, all the dreams.... Good Heavens, how romantic—how senseless we were in school!”
“I am still,” said the Special Messenger thoughtfully. “I like men.... A man—the right one—could easily make me love him. And I am afraid there are more than one ‘right one.’ I have often been on the sentimental border.... But they died, or went away—or I did.... The trouble with me is, as you say, that I am emotional, and very, very tender-hearted.... It is sometimes difficult to be loyal—to care for duty—to care for the Union more than for a man. Not that there is any danger of my proving untrue——”
“No,” murmured the Nurse, “loyalty is your inheritance.”
“Yes, we—” she named her family under her breath—“are traditionally trustworthy. It is part of us—our race was always, will always be.... But—to see a man near death—and to care for him a little—even a rebel—and to know that one word might save him—only one little disloyal word!”
“No man would save you at that expense,” said the Nurse disdainfully. “I know men.”
“Do you? I don’t—in that way. There was once an officer—a noncombatant. I could have loved him.... Once there was a Confederate cavalryman. I struck him senseless with my revolver-butt—and I might have—cared for him. He was very young.... I never can forget him. It is hard, dear, the business I am engaged in.... But it has never spoiled my interest in men—or my capacity for loving one of them. I am afraid I am easily moved.”
She rose and stood erect, to adjust her soft riding hat, her youthfully slender figure in charming relief against the window.