And so I laid aside her painful letter, and unfolded the last missive. And discovered it was writ me by Penelope:
"You should not think harshly of me, Jack Drogue, if you return and discover that I am gone away from Johnstown.
"Douw Fonda is returned to Cayadutta Lodge. He has now sent a carriage for to fetch me. It is waiting while I write. I can not refuse him.
"If, when we meet again, you desire to know my mind concerning you, then, if you choose to look into it, you shall discover that my mind contains only a single thought. And the thought is for you.
"But if you desire no longer to know my mind when again—if ever—we two meet together, then you shall not feel it your duty to concern yourself about my mind, or what thought may be within it.
"I would not write coldly to you, John Drogue. Nor would I importune with passion.
"I have no claim upon your further kindness. You have every claim upon my life-long gratitude.
"But I offer more than gratitude if you should still desire it; and I would offer less—if it should better please you.
"Feel not offended; feel free. Come to me if it pleaseth you; and, if you come not, there is in me that which shall pardon all you do, or leave undone, as long as ever I shall live on earth.
"Penelope Grant."
When Snips had powdered me and had tied my club with a queue-ribbon of his proper selection, he patched my cheek-bone where a thorn had torn me, and stood a-twirling his iron as though lost in admiration of his handiwork.
When I paid him I bade him tell Burke to bring around my horse and fetch my saddle bags; and then I dressed me in my regimentals.
When Burke came with the saddle-bags, we packed them together. He promised to care for my rifle and pack, took my new light blanket over his arm, and led the way down stairs, where I presently perceived Kaya saddled, and pricking ears to hear my voice.
Whilst I caressed her and whispered in her pretty ear the idle tenderness that a man confides to a beloved horse, Burke placed my pistols, strapped saddle-bags and blanket, and held my stirrup as I gathered bridle and set my spurred boot firmly on the steel.
And so swung to my saddle, and sat there, dividing bridles, deep fixed in troubled thought and anxiously concerned for the safety of the unselfish but very stubborn girl I loved.
I had said my adieux to Jimmy Burke; I had taken leave of the Commandant at the palisades jail. I now galloped Kaya through the town, riding by way of Butlersbury;[42] and saw the steep roof of the Butler house through the grove, and shuddered as I thought of the unhappy young man who had lived there and who, at that very moment, might be hanging by his neck while the drums rolled from the hollow square.
Down the steep hill I rode, careful of loose stone, and so came to the river and to Caughnawaga.[43]