This burden of anxiety in addition to all her other troubles broke down even Belinda Melnotte's calm. She scarcely dared go near Sanderson for more than a moment at a time during this day for fear he would apprehend trouble from the expression of her countenance.
In her present state of mind, too, she began to chide herself for imaginary faults and a lapse of morals which, at another time, she would have been bold enough to ignore.
Were not these anxieties that so burdened her mind and humbled her spirit the punishment, the logical and natural outcome of her wrong doing? Had she not committed a sin against her higher nature in so fully giving herself mentally at least to Frank Sanderson and in allowing him to lavish his affection upon her when there was a barrier between them which neither the laws of God nor man could ignore?
The memory of "Stella" and "the kiddies" which she had put aside so determinedly arose again like a wraith in her secret thoughts.
The apparent cheerfulness of the American aviator seemed a mockery to Belinda, knowing what she did. With Doctor Herschall in possession of Sanderson's canteen, its inscription perfectly readable to anybody with the knowledge the Prussian surgeon already had, the nurse expected the blow to fall at any moment.
All that seemed to trouble the aviator, however, was the return of Ernest Spiegel. "There is something behind that," he whispered to Belinda. "The wretched boy thinks he knows something. Has he been put back here to spy?"
The visiting physician seemed in no way suspicious of Sanderson. He talked hopefully of the aviator's shoulder coming out of the plaster soon. He had been patient and that virtue was to be rewarded, the doctor said.
Evening came at length. At the calling of the roll Erard was supposed to report at the guardhouse. But there was still much to do about the ward and the orderly who was to take charge for the night had not appeared.
With verbal permission from a passing officer, the harelipped man remained to complete his duties and to help Belinda. But he went out ahead of her.
It was already dark—a raw, cloudy spring night. There was a lull in the booming of the guns and the horizon to the east, west and south was streaked only intermittently with the glare of the flare-bombs and rockets.