Perhaps Paul Vulning was to some extent responsible for his subjection. He detested the man cordially and was jealous of the friendship between him and Mrs. Belmire. When he saw them together he was possessed by an irresponsible rage and tortured by all sorts of jealous imaginings. If it had only been Fetterstein or the old General.... But Vulning!
She had not borrowed any money from him lately, although she was always urging him to play again. The last time she had borrowed from him had set him thinking. He had suffered so much from the want of money that now he was painfully aware of its value. At all costs he was determined to hang on to his fifty thousand francs. He would lend her another thousand but no more. That was the breaking point, he told himself.
“In any case,” he thought, “I have only to tell her my position and she’ll chuck me ignominiously. She thinks I’m a rich somebody. When she learns I’m a poor nobody then.... But I won’t tell her yet awhile. I enjoy very much being with her, and undoubtedly I am learning a good deal from her. ‘Sophisticating me,’ she calls it. Well, I suppose that sort of thing is part of a chap’s education. I will have to regard it as a return for the money I have lent her, and which, poor thing, I am sure she will never return. Confound the woman! I don’t know what’s got into me. I can’t get her out of my head.”
One day he would vow he was finished with her, the next he would be crazy to see her again. Even when he was with her, his irritation sometimes drove him to the point of rebellion. For instance, there was the evening that they had supper at the High Life.
It was she who had suggested that they go there, and rather gloomily he had complied. They had gone first to the Casino and spent some time in the private room, for Mrs. Belmire disdained the ordinary one. After watching the play for awhile she had suggested:
“Why don’t you try your luck? It’s stupid to look on and not risk anything.”
“No, thanks, I don’t care to.”
“Oh, come on. You always win. Even if you lose, what do a few thousands matter to you when you have won so enormously? Even I saw you.”
He sighed gloomily.
“Yes, you saw me win but—you didn’t see me lose.”